2010 After Dark Horrorfest: Kill Theory (2009)

Here we are again.  Another After Dark Horrorfest 2010 flick and it’s becoming apparent that this year’s lineup (with the exception of Dread, so far) is no better than the previous years’.  Like so many before it Kill Theory begins with an interesting premise that gets pissed away through shitty execution.

Our story begins in a psychiatric hospital where Walter (played by Kevin Gage) is having a session with his shrink Dr. Truftin (played by Don McManus).  Let me take a moment and talk about Mr. Gage:  Kevin Gage was in the absolutely dreadful 2008 crap-fest Amusement, which actually made my “Top 20 Worst Films of the Decade” (see complete list here).  But he also had a starring role in 2009’s awesome slasher flick Laid to Rest and he played bad guys in such big-budgeters as Heat (1995) and Con Air (1997).  My advice to Mr. Gage is to choose your flicks with a more critical eye.  When you’re good in a movie (like Laid to Rest) you’re awesome, but the bad ones tarnish you more.  Lucky for Gage he doesn’t get too much screen time in Kill Theory.

And there goes the ONLY likable character here!!

Anyway … so Walter is having a session with Dr. Truftin about his release.  It seems Walter was a mountain climber who was out one time with two of his friends.  There was an accident and all three were hanging from the same rope (Walter was at the top) which was breaking from all the weight.  So he had to make a fast decision:  Either they all die or he could cut the rope and his friends would die but he’d live.  He cut the rope and has had a hard time coming to grips with his decision.  It’s never actually made clear, but I would assume that Walter was in the nut house because he had a breakdown about the choice he made.  But the movie makes it sound like he was in there because he murdered his friends.  Hhmmm; seems to me a first year law student could get those charges dropped.  But Walter is convinced that anyone in a similar situation would make the same choice as he did.  The good doctor doesn’t think so.  The doc, who’s character is a self-promoting asshole-schmuck who is putting golf balls during their session, doesn’t agree with Walter and is using him for the topic of a new book.  If you hated the Dr. Loomis character in Zombie’s Halloween 2 then don’t even bother seeing this.  Dr. Truftin is a hundred times worse!!

Just remember; nice guys ALWAYS finish last!!

Writer Kelly Palmer seems at first to create an interesting killer who’s both complex and deep; but almost immediately she turns Walter into a formulaic Saw-like killer who goes over the edge as soon as he’s released and targets the first group of 20-somethings in order to test his “Kill Theory”.  Excuse me while I yawn.  Every character here is a broad-stroke having no depth and you really don’t give a shit about what happens to anyone involved.  We join our 20-somethings in a remote cabin in the woods for a weekend of partying.  We get to “meet” with each character as they interact with each other around the dinner table.  Then after a hard night of drinking they all retire to their bedrooms and Walter wastes no time in testing his theory.  He forces one of the girls to make a choice; he puts a gun in her hand and tells her she can either kill her sleeping boyfriend or be killed herself thereby saving his life.  She dies to save him and we thereby lose the only likeable character in this entire flick.  When the initial panic of the group is over he tells them (via walkie talkie) that they all have until 6am to make a choice.  Either they can start killing each other until there is only one left or they can all be alive at 6am and he will kill them himself.  It was about here that I just stopped caring.

This guy is actually telling you to "stop" & not watch this flick!!

Let’s put aside the bad acting and huge plot holes; these are pretty much givens in After Dark flicks.  The main problem here is that the situation Walter created to prove his “kill theory” is not the same as the situation he was in on that mountain.  Walter thinks he’s proving that deep down inside “everyone’s a killer.” But he’s not proving this at all.  Walter wasn’t forced at gun point to either kill his friends or be killed; his was an organic situation that no one created except for Fate.  The only thing he’s proving here is that people will kill when there’s a gun pressed against their heads and they have absolutely no option.  This is very poorly written and is an obvious rehash of the fantastic movie The Killing Gene (2007), which works on every level. Theory, on the other hand, utterly fails due to poor writing and even worse execution.

You won't believe how incredibly ANNOYING this douchey character is!!

The 20-somethings immediately break down, succumbing to paranoia and distrust and start killing each other faster than a broad on Jenny Craig pounces on the last piece of cake.  Speaking of “Jenny Craig”; if I had to listen to that fat fuck Freddy (played by Daniel Franzese) whining and crying for one more second I was gonna blow my head off.  Seriously people, Freddy is the most annoying character I’ve seen in a very long time.  And I’ve never seen so many people get shot in the stomachs and just kind of brush it off.  Freddy shoots one dude in the gut standing about 5 feet away and the guy just gets up and stabs Freddy (thank you for that by the way).  There are a few others in the cast who take stomach wounds and don’t seem to be affected at all.  We get a couple of decent gore f/x (the shovel death scene was gooey and fun), but not enough to recommend this one.

Are we suppose to relate to a stalker??

Mercifully this movie ends at 82 minutes and we learn why Walter chose this group of 20-somethings:  Because one of the kids was the son of the asshole shrink from the beginning.  Wow what an amazing twist.  First time director Chris Moore does manage to make the ending suspenseful but by that point you’ve completely stopped caring.  This movie has such an interesting premise that is completely pissed away by very poor writing, horrible dialogue, stupid characters doing dumb things, and terrible execution.  I’m assuming we won’t be seeing too much more of Kelly Palmer after this craptacular mess.

DO IT and save us all from your annoying fucking whining!!

Sorry if I sound mean here people but I’m getting tired of these way-below average genre flicks getting undeserved attention while a movie such as The Killing Gene, which was obviously the influence for this flick, gets no publicity and is a hundred times better.  Shame on you After Dark; you once again have lowered the bar.  Skip this one.

My Summary:

Director:  Chris Moore

Plot:  2 out of 5 stars

Gore:  4.5 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem:  0 out of 5 brains (I don’t even think a zombie could have made this one any better)

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer

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Comments
8 Responses to “2010 After Dark Horrorfest: Kill Theory (2009)”
  1. Ifaz says:

    From what I’ve been hearing, there is a big chance I’ll love this movie. I’m always down for mindless slashers. Such as, I loved Friday the 13th remake, Hatchet, Halloween 2(it had some major flaws that I hated though), etc. Then again I might hate it because I hated Bloody Valentine remake, Halloween remake, etc.

    P.S I dont know about you, but I’m one of those very few people who doesn’t bitch about remakes. Remakes to me are like…*more movie around*!!!

    • I’m curious to hear what you think of Kill Theory. I hate it. It’s a lazy, uninspired slasher with annoying characters. If you see it let me know.

      I really hated the Friday the 13th remake because of what they did to the character of Jason. A terrible re-imaging. But I’m sure you know how I feel about Zombie’s H2 (although not technically a remake). And I’m totally with ya on the My Bloody Valentine remake… it was horrible (although it does have the longest continual full frontal nudity scene ever put in a horror flick) :-)

      I really don’t mind remakes. The Crazies showed how they can be done right. And I really think the Elm Street remake is gonna kick ass. I just think the ratio of remakes to original movies is too unbalanced. There’s a lot of talented writers around; take a chance studios & give us something original!!

    • Oh yeah; have you seen 2009′s Laid to Rest? AWESOME slasher flick!!

  2. Ifaz says:

    I’ll check out Laid To Rest soon. :D

    I finished watching this just now. I agree and disagree with you. That fat guy was the single-most annoying character in a horror movie after Laurie Strode of Halloween(2007)[played by Scout Taylor-Compton, one of the worst actress available to date]. And the almost bald guy was terrible. Some of the acting during the beginning of the movie was beyond retarded. But, I liked a couple of characters. Taryn Manning and the almost-final guy was decent. Even Kevin Gage did good with whatever he was given. And the twist at the end was really good as we know how bad twists this days turns out. And I loved the slasher aspect of the film, I really did. Yeah, that’s about it. Overall I ‘d give a 6/10.

    And you said, the situations of both groups are not same. But it is from my P.O.V. You see, hanging from a rope ABOUT TO DIE is quite same with ‘at gun point “ABOUT TO DIE”‘. I would’ve thought it to be ridiculous though, if the twist ending wasn’t present.

    • Ok Ifaz I give you that the 2 at the end of Kill Theory (the couple) were ok…. they were definitely a few steps above the rest of the cast. Anyone who didn’t wanna kill “fat fuck” themselves is gonna be banned from this website LOL Even if Kill Theory was the best movie of all times HE would have ruined it for me.

      I can see how you equate the 2 situations as similar in Kill Theory, but the main difference for me is that no one PUT Kevin Gage’s character in harm’s way other than Fate itself. Gage created the danger for the college kids; no one created the danger for Gage up on that mountain top … it just happened.

      I disagree with ya about Scout Taylor-Compton … I thought she was an excellent Laurie Strode. In some ways I think she’s better than Jamie Lee Curtis (let the hate mail commence LOL). Curtis played the role too “maturely”, if that makes sense. Laurie is supposed to be in high school; the most mature girls in high school aren’t as mature as the character of Laurie!! I liked what Scout Taylor-Compton brought to the table and how she interpreted the role.

      Definitely check out Laid to Rest. I absolutely loved its retro-like feel and the killer. Plus Kevin Gage is awesome in it!! :-) Let me know what you think after you see it!!

  3. nora says:

    Hey what type of gun is in the movie? ? Name?? I Really want to know -via Droid

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  1. [...] I definitely saw this before … last year in fact.  The film was KILL THEORY (see my review here) and I was less than impressed by it … waaaaay less!!  So as SHALLOW CREEK began I must [...]



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  • Some of my favorite horror movies:
  • Dawn of the Dead (1978)

  • Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn (1987)

  • Martyrs (2008)

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