Mega Piranha (2010) … Mega Fun!!

Well this is familiar territory.  Scientists working in some remote location are trying to improve and save mankind and accidentally create a race of super-sized piranha (don’t ya just hate when that happens??).  All the familiar plot points are here:  The scientists who are confused as to “how something like this could happen”; the beefy mercenary/ex-CIA/ex-Special Forces guy who cleans up the mess; the douchey character who thinks these creatures are humanities next evolutionary step; and the female love interest for the beefy guy who can kick ass but melts in his arms.

The abovementioned mutant piranha were created for reasons that are never fully made clear.  But who cares; we get to see giant piranha eat their way from some small tributary in the Amazon all the way to the Florida Keys.  And the best part?  They get bigger and bigger as the movie goes on, AND they can apparently jump outta the water and pretty much fly!!  F**k yeah!!  Apparently there is no limit to how big these fuckers can get.

Actor Paul Logan with a buddy.

For all my readers out there smoking weed here’s a question for ya:  Can a piranha get so big that it ends up eating the very world they inhabit?  Whoa, that’s heavy!!  These piranha also unintentionally become the comedic force driving this whole project.  The filmmakers here can’t keep the sizes of their fishies straight.  At one point they’re the size of a dolphin and then two seconds later they’re the size of a Boeing 747 airplane!!  But ya know what, who cares?  None of this is to be taken seriously.  If you’re sitting down to watch Mega Piranha chances are you don’t care about the physics and genetic science that went into making them so damn big, right?  You wanna see some big-ass fucking piranha chomping off heads and chewing their way through crowds of Jimmy Buffet fans!!

Logan earning his pay with Tiffany!!

We can thank writer-director Eric Forsberg for this creation.  Forsberg has a pretty unique resume.  He wrote the Academy Award-winning (ah-hem) Snakes on a Train (2006) and 2008’s War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave (please note that’s “train”, not “plane”).  But he also directed Night of the Dead: Leben Tod (2006) and Alien Abduction (2005).  I must admit that although deeply flawed, these two movies are pretty entertaining, and in the case of Night of the Dead, pretty gory.  Alien Abduction was also an above-average sci-fi which combined elements of The X-Files and Dark City.  It was pretty good!!

Actor Barry “I know that Guy” Williams

But here Forsberg is a man on a mission to deliver what the title promises; some big fucking piranha!!  Forsber also puts together a stellar cast for us.  Playing the beefy hunk who cleans up the mess is Paul Logan.  Logan has made quite a name for himself starring in such sci-fi tour de forces as The Terminators (2009), Komodo vs. Cobra (2005), and my personal favorite, Aliens on Crack (2009).  Nope; that last one’s not a typo!!  He was also in 11 episodes of the day time soap Days of Our Lives (2001-2002).  It’s that last bit of info that puts Mr. Logan’s acting into perspective.  He’s 90% abs; 5% acting ability; and the other 5% is some kind of substance you don’t wanna know about!!

Actress Tiffany looking confused!!

Rounding out the cast are Tiffany (yes THAT Tiffany) as the bedazzled scientist and none other than Barry “Greg Brady” Williams as Logan’s boss.  Let me repeat that:  This movie stars an ‘80s pop singing sensation (with questionable singing abilities) and the star of a popular sitcom back in the late ‘60s-early ‘70s?  Well sign me the f**k on to see this one again!!  Barry Williams does a good job with the material he was given, and Tiffany … well bless her heart she tries her best.  She aged worse than Debbie Gibson (who stars in the SyFy extravaganza Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus) but I think she has slightly better acting chops.

This is a flick that will have you laughing at the fun parts, laughing at the serious parts, and laughing at every other part.  But the bottom line is that it’s FUN (it also had 200,000 viewers on its SyFy Channel debut).  It never takes itself seriously and keeps everything moving along at a quick pace.  The only thing that takes away from the fun is that the CGI f/x for both the piranha and death and destruction scenes are really poorly done.  If the CGI f/x were better executed this would definitely be on its way to “cult classic” status!!

This one definitely lives up too everything you’ve come to expect from a “giant creature” SyFy Channel movie.  If you’re looking for some silly, mindless fun check this one out.

I fucking told ya!! LOOK at those ab 

My Summary:

Director:  Eric Forsberg (and writer)

Plot:  2 out of 5 stars

Gore:  4 out of 10 skulls (there’s a lot, but the CGI is badly done)

Zombie Mayhem:  0 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer

Stay Bloody!!!

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14 Responses to Mega Piranha (2010) … Mega Fun!!

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  3. Karen says:

    Yeah right I’m on it! Oh yeah and did I mention that Eric is my husband?
    A clip from Mega Piranha was on Jay Leno last night in the monolouge, did you catch it?
    http://www.nbc.com/the-tonight-show/video/tuesday-may-4-2010/1225119/

    • Damn I missed it on Leno last night!!! And again I apologize for the spelling error. Like I said, running this site alone results in long days and nights of writing, typing, and doing research and sometimes my proofreading suffers!!

      And Karen I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t ask you to pass along to your husband that when he’s promoting any new projects to drop me an email. I’d love to interview your husband!! My email is [email protected]

      Thanks for the link to the Leno show …. good stuff!!

  4. Karen says:

    By the way the Writer/Director is Eric Forsberg with a G.

    • Damn …. I totally know how to spell his name …. not sure how that got past me!! Thanks for pointing that out Karen and I’ve already corrected all the misspellings. Wanna be my editor!! 🙂

  5. Demian says:

    Oh man I really don’t like Syfy channel movies, the acting is always so terrible yet alone the plots. But I do like pirahna movies so I will probably give it a try! I would watch troma movie over a syfy movie any day! But yet I like those crazy japanese movies which are just as bad, go figure:)

    • autumnforest says:

      SyFy movies–they’re so bad, they’re good. It’s like the fast food of horror movies–You can seriously binge!

    • A Troma flick is definitely on a different level than a SyFy Channel flick. But there’s a lot of fun to be had with the SyFy flicks. Definitely more fun to watch with a group …. a drunk group!!

      And honestly I find the acting in the Asian movies to be worse and more annoying than the performances in SyFy flicks!!

  6. autumnforest says:

    Silly plot and lots of fun? Sounds like me! Perfect match!

  7. autumnforest says:

    Awesome! I have to admit, since the first piranha movie came out, I was fascinated by the idea of cute fishes with teeth. You never expect that in a lake-you just think of sharks in oceans. I still get shivers thinking of the original movie long ago. I will see it just because I love the sight of blood in the water.