First Glance: Bloody Bloody Bible Camp

Tim Sullivan "getting into character"!!

With a name like Bloody Bloody Bible Camp you know its gonna offend everyone, push the limits on breaking taboos, and (hopefully) be extremely blasphemous.  Add to this the fact that it stars exploitation director Tim Sullivan (who recently directed 2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams; see my review here) and you have the formula for a crazy, fun and bizarre flick!!  Sullivan recently spoke with dreadcentral.com and this is what he had to say:

Just got back from Lake Arrowhead, where I fulfilled my lifelong ambition of playing a slasher – though it wasn’t exactly as I expected! Yup, I played the killer transvestite nun “Sister Mary Chopper” in Vito Tribuco’s horror comedy BLOODY BLOODY BIBLE CAMP, which Vito wrote with his partner Shelby McIntyre. Infused with the same splatstick soul as FIELD OF SCREAMS, I knew I had to get involved the minute producers Reggie and Gigi Bannister rang me up and asked me to hop on board. Did I mention Reggie plays a priest with whom I do battle? Oh, yeah. And Ron Jeremy plays Jesus. It’s a total knock-out gore/comedy/boob fest that doesn’t just cross the line – it gleefully leaps over it!

Tim Sullivan IS Sister Mary Chopper!!

Ron Jeremy as Jesus; a transvestite nun serial killer; AND Reggie (Phantasm films) Bannister producing and starring as well??  Sign me the fuck on to see this one!!  This one sounds like a lot of fun.  And though I felt there were a lot of problems with Sullivan’s Field of Screams it was still one helluva fun movie.  If Sullivan brings half the energy and fun to his role in Bloody Bloody Bible Camp that he brought to his Field of Screams, well this will be one for the books!!  Sullivan then goes on to describe the plot:

Made by horror fans for horror fans, BLOODY BLOODY BIBLE CAMP tells the story of a group of horny bible campers led by the equally horny Father Cummings (played by Reggie [Bannister]) who are picked off one by one by Sister Mary Chopper… that would be me. In a flashback, we learn that the good sister was actually once an altar boy who was told by evil nun Gigi Bannister he was meant to be a woman.

Um yeah; I’m loving this plot!!  Sounds like some good old fashioned exploitation that’s not gonna take itself too seriously and play it for blood, guts, and laughs.  Bring it on.  I’ll, of course, keep you updated.

Stay Bloody!!!

SyFy Corner: Sand Serpents (2009)

I’ve been on a bit of a SyFy Channel binge lately, and all I can say about this one is “Ouch!!”  Unlike such SyFy epics like Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus and Ice Spiders, Sand Serpents just doesn’t have that same fun spirit, and at times you get the feeling its taking itself way too seriously.

Directed by Jeff Renfroe and written by Raul Inglis, who wrote the SyFy flick Cerberus (2005) (which stars Greg “I Co-Starred with a Monkey” Evigan), this is a pretty listless story that “borrows” elements from about 20 other (better) films.  If you were to take Tremors and set it in the Mid-East (the Afghani desert to be more specific) you might just wind up with a really crappy movie like Sand Serpents.  While on patrol in what looks to be the deserts of Southern California, a squad of soldiers get ambushed by the Taliban.  They’re captured, tied up, and blindfolded (those lucky bastards … I’d have killed for a blindfold).  While awaiting their fate something comes in and wipes out their Taliban captors.  Conveniently one of the terrorists had a video camera and captured the titular creatures on film.

Looks like a twisty slide at an amusement park.

The graboids, er… sand serpents, didn’t eat any of the U.S. soldiers and they escape and now have to fight the giant worms.  The first view we get of the graboids, er… sand serpents is as one plucks an assault helicopter out of the sky (what is it with the SyFy Channel and giant creatures taking down helicopters and planes in mid-flight??).  The worms are pretty ridiculous looking and are way too large to be scary.  They look like if the graboids from Tremors and the giant worms from Dune had some illegitimate children.  Not very original.  They may have changed their logo from ‘SciFi’ to ‘SyFy,’ but they’re still cranking out the same crappy movies with the same silly elements:  Terrible dialogue, lame action, and more CGI f/x than all 3 Matrix movies put together.  Oh yeah, and all the Taliban look suspiciously like East-End New Yorkers!!  There’s a lot of (unintentionally) laugh-out-loud moments here but not enough for me to recommend this one.

The worm-creatures here just aren't very scary looking!!

And look; I don’t wanna start a “thing” here, but you’ll notice that the 1st two soldiers killed are the African-American soldiers and they died sacrificing themselves to help save the white soldiers.  Hhmmm; could someone get me the Reverend Al Sharpton on the phone!!  And by now you know I’m no prude or supporter of PC politics but I find it in very bad taste that the soldiers end up defeating the graboids, er… sand serpents, by strapping bombs to themselves and running a suicide mission.  This IS a movie filmed against the backdrop of the Mid-East where that kind of thing happens in real life all too often and U.S. soldiers are dying for real every day.  That’s just demonstrating really bad taste.

Looks like the desert's penis!!

You also get the feeling that the filmmakers here just didn’t care.  Our soldiers are supposed to be out in the middle of nowhere in the Afghani desert.  But in one scene you can clearly see a non-military truck driving off in the distance, and there are a few times you can see a lot of car/truck tracks all over in the sand.  And one of the female soldiers is wearing both a “Ranger” and “Special Forces” tabs on her uniform.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe that females aren’t allowed to attend neither Ranger nor Special Forces training schools.  And let’s not mention that according to Army regulations its illegal for a female to wear either tab on their uniform.  Do some research guys!!  Overall this is a lazy by-the-numbers SyFy Channel crap-fest that doesn’t even qualify as “so bad it’s good.”  Unfortunately this one is just “so bad it’s terrible.”  Come on SyFy; you can do much better!!  Skip this one.

My Summary:

Director:  Jeff Renfroe

Plot:  1.5 out of 5 stars

Gore:  2 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem:  0 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer