Breaking News to Make You Throw Up: Martyrs Remake on the Way
I’m sorry everyone; I really am!! I hate to be the guy to tell you this news, but the BEST HORROR FILM of the last decade (or more), Pascal Laugier’s Martyrs, is being remade for an American audience. I guess us Americans are too dumb to “get” or appreciate Laugier’s brilliant and disturbing film about a girl hunting down the people who kidnapped and tortured her when she was younger. Oh but wait; this isn’t a “revenge” flick; oh no. This is a deeply disturbing flick that will get you on so many levels. It also has a very haunting atmosphere that I’m willing to bet the American remake with totally fuck up.
So who’s penning this remake? Mark L. Smith has been put in charge of this. You may know him from the by-the-numbers flick Vacancy (2007), the tiresome and unnecessary Vacancy 2: The First Cut (2008), and the “Meh”-inducing Joe Dante flick The Hole (2009). Is this the best they could come up with the write the remake. Ya know what, fuck Smith … the bottom line is Martyrs should not be remade now or ever. Laugier made a modern masterpiece that is going to get fucked over more than any other remake out there. Remaking Martyrs is the straw that broke my back. Yeah I know Hollywood is completely incapable of making something even close to Martyrs; but how about trying instead of just taking the original and fucking it up?
You REALLY don't wanna know what happens to her next!!
And if this is nauseating enough, cinematical.com reported earlier today that Wyck Godfrey will be producing the remake. What’s that; you don’t know who Wyck Godfrey is? Oh yes you do. He’s responsible for giving us such disappointing films as I, Robot (2004), Alien vs. Predator (2004), and the When a Stranger Calls remake (2006). Still doesn’t sound familiar? Well maybe you know him producing the Twilight Saga!!! One of the goddamn fucktards responsible for unleashing the horrible Twilight films on us is now gonna produce the Martyrs remake?? Fuck me!! What the hell does this man know about horror films? We all saw how the U.S. remake of [rec] turned out; do we really have to do that to Martyrs??
I feel sick. I’m gonna go get some Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and go curl up on the couch and watch the original Dawn of the Dead. If anyone out there wants to hold me I could really go for that.
Stay Bloody!!!
NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Yep. Nnnooooooooo… Pretty much says it all.
It definitely says it all. And just wait until the casting news hits the web …. I’m dreading who’s gonna get casted in the 2 lead roles.
Exactly …. every time I think of Martyrs being remade I throw up in my mouth!!!
I concur [pukes]
There’s a lot of puking going on on this site!!! So sorry to have to break this shitty news.
What the fuck? Seriously though, what…the…fuck?
Its the most disgusting news I’ve heard in a looooong time GoreGirl!!
Never, And I Mean Everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, screw with perfection! How much worse could it get?!
Watch, next Hollywood will try and remake “Irréversible” which actually got to me more than “Martyrs” and I was shaken to the core after viewing “Martyrs”. All were very similar reactions to my original experience with “A Clockwork Orange”. All these movies just have some really disturbing shit that hits you simultaneously on emotional, intellectual, and physical levels and just remebering all 3 movies exhausts me.
Well put … movie like the ones you listed just get under your skin and stay with you long after you’re done watching them. We need to have a “Disturbing Movie Marathon” next time we meet up Bill!! LOL
I’ve been meaning to ask you if you’ve seen Martyrs? What’d ya think? I’m still blown away by it. Even the thought of remaking it leaves me feeling hollow. Honestly; I’d rather see a Hellraiser remake!!! Cancel that; I’d rather poke my eyes out LOL
I finally did see “Martyrs” based on your recommendation and it made my skin crawl for about a week afterwards because the subject matter is so disturbing. I think it was about 2 months or so ago when I got it via Netflix and I had a similar reaction to it as I did the other movies I mentioned along with a similar reaction I had to viewing “8mm”. All of them made me physically sick to my stomach and just wanting to crawl up into the fetal position.
I hear ya with Martyrs buddy!! Its so disturbing without having to resort to cheap tactics. It avoids the torture-porn genre while at the same time going waaaaay beyond it. I still watch it every other month or so and it still punches me in the gut every time!!
And for a big budget Hollywood release, 8mm is surprisingly effective. I got under my skin too!!!
Don’t worry to much about a “Producer” messing up a movie! We all know by now that “Producers” are only there to take a bite out of the budget and share in the profits of a movie, they don’t actually DO something!
Oh! And my condolence to Brad Pitt! Jeeezz… Hollywood! I’m off now! I’m gonna kill myself so i won’t ever get sick!