Movie Review: Cold Prey (2006)

cold prey1b

I had such high hopes for this movie but was ultimately frustrated, pissed off, and bored.  I had read reviews calling COLD PREY the “most perfect slasher movie ever made,” and being that this was made in Norway I figured I’d at least get some beautiful scenery and good gore.  Nope.  What we get is a by-the-numbers slasher flick with horribly slow pacing, no gore or scares, and a truly ridiculous “reveal.”

The movie starts with a group of likable friends going snowboarding in a remote location (is there any better place to snowboard?).  Everything is going great until Morten Tobias (Rolf Kristian Larsen) snaps his leg in a scene that will make you curl up into the fetal position hugging your own appendage.  Savor this scene people; it’s the most “extreme” and graphic this flick gets.  The gang decides that since they won’t be able to reach their car before night fall they’ll wander over to the conveniently placed abandoned hotel over yonder (nothing bad ever happens at abandoned hotels, right?).  Once at the hotel the movie comes to a grinding halt.  Seriously; this stops faster than a fat person walking in front of a bakery.  Some shit happens … SLOWLY … and they all learn that the hotel was closed down in the 1970’s after the owners’ son went missing and was never found again.  But wait; there seems to be someone still living in the hotel after all these years.  I wonder …

Stunning scenery like this made this one easy to look at.

Ok; first the positives.  This has a beautiful and isolated location that believably explains why no one can use their cell phones.  Writer-director Roar Uthaug (nice name) also does a great job utilizing that location and creating an extremely claustrophobic feel, even though the space they’re in is wide open.  I also enjoyed the characters.  We get to “know” them as individuals before the (gore-less) action starts.  I also really enjoyed that the cast doesn’t behave and act stupid.  They didn’t do the typical slasher movie stuff (having sex, doing drugs, playing jokes on each other, etc …).  These elements did indeed elevate the movie above the typical slasher flick.

Why do the easy, sexy ones always get killed?

But we all know that with ‘positives’ there must also be ‘negatives’.  In a nut shell this movie just wasn’t all that exciting.  The director really wanted to develop a sense of isolation, and he did with the location but he just couldn’t create any kind of suspense or tension.  This movie needed to shave off about 25 to 30 minutes in order to tighten up the scenes.  This would’ve also  created a better atmosphere because lets face it, the second and third acts dragged on waaay too long.  And as far as the gore goes; other than that awesome compound leg fracture, that’s about it.  A big bloody smear on the floor indicating that someone has been dragged away just doesn’t cut it today.  And the last nail in the coffin for me was the killer and his “back story.”  Really really lame.  If you can’t spot the killer in the first 10 minutes of this movie than you are either too young to be watching this movie or ya just ain’t paying attention!!  And the killers’ back story feels like it was tagged on at the very end.  Like I said, very disappointing.

It's all fun & games until someone gets a compound leg fracture!!

So what happened to this being a perfect slasher flick?  That quote comes from Ain’t it Cool News, an online movie review mecca run by the very well-respected Harry Knowles.  There COLD PREY is described as “Probably the most perfect slasher movie ever made.”  One of two things must have occurred here:  No one over at Ain’t it Cool News actually watched this film, or two, those guys need to get out there and watch more slasher flicks!  This is far from being the “most perfect” slasher flick ever made.  There was a lot of potential here, but Roar Uthaug just doesn’t know what it takes to make a solid slasher, or horror for that matter, film.  That’s right folks; another film with shitty execution.  Skip this one.

Is she scared or starting to yawn??

My Summary:

Director:  Roar Uthaug (and writer)

Plot:  2 out of 5 stars

Gore:  1.5 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem:  0 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer

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Comments
8 Responses to “Movie Review: Cold Prey (2006)”
  1. autumnforest says:

    Bless your heart! I am a freak for Scandianvian horror and the problem is that everyone keeps saying “Cold Prey,” “Cold Prey,” “Cold Prey,” and so I rented it, started to watch it and grew bored. I never saw more than perhaps 15 minutes of it. I keep wanting to be drawn back into the hype and rent it again and finally see it to see if I missed something or maybe I’m some kind of idiot. I’m thrilled you did this review so I don’t get sucked into the pool of numb-heads who think it’s all that. You just saved me probably 90 minutes of my life I could be doing something more exciting, like pulling out bellybutton lint, counting beans, staring at the ceiling…

    • I’m with ya … it got great hype and was supposed to be so intense and re-define the slasher genre. REALLY?? The band Cold Play would sooner re-define the slasher genre than this sleep-inducing snoozer!!

  2. mykill furie says:

    I might still watch it, at least up to the compound leg fracture scene, since you made that seem so cool. Also this movie is on netflix instant streaming and i can just watch a little then hit delete!

    • By all means check it out if you’re curious!! But the compound fracture scene is in like the first 10 minutes!! LOL If you watch the entire thing I’d love to know what you think of it.

  3. goregirl says:

    The most perfect slasher movie ever made? YIKE!! That is just too high of praise for this film!

    I must admit, it didn’t rock my world, but I actually liked this film. Even though it is familiar and given to cliches I thought the good outweighed the bad. I thought it had a great setting, (I’m always a sucker for horror films in the snow), the victims are likable, there’s some good mood-setting and some nice looking cinematography. It was definitely too light on the blood and gore for a slasher film though.

    • I was absolutely floored that ANY reviewer would call COLD PREY an almost perfect flick. Not even close. I just felt nothing for this film after it was over. I agree that the scenery and cinematography was stunning, but everything else was so flat. I forgot I even saw it last year …. I was looking through some old reviews and found it!!

  4. Chris says:

    I can definitely see what you’re saying about the film! Although I really enjoyed- everybody has their own taste.

    One thing I hate to see about ANY film though is when a viewer says they watched 15 minutes then turned it off.. most films don’t get into anything big or serious within 15 minutes, and I think that anyone who judges a movie after watching only a few minutes can’t rightfully justify their opinion. I myself have turned off movies a few minutes in, but I’ve always gone back and finished them (some that I actually ended up liking, others I didn’t).

    Also people need to watch the films themselves instead of just taking a reviewer’s word for it- they may like the film. People have different tastes, give it a chance.. and get through at least half of the movie, into the actual story and past the setup of the whole thing before you judge it!

    Good review- as I said, I can see what you’re saying. To each their own!

    • You’re absolutely right Chris … no one should ever listen to a reviewer. I like reading a very few select reviewers out there because I relate to them and have the same tastes. But now that I’m running this site I see every & any horror film and will watch the entire thing … no matter how bad it is. No one can rightly say they hate a film if they only watch 10-15 minutes of it!! But I hope I’ve developed enough credibility with my readers that they can trust my reviews to be fair & honest. But even so I urge everyone to still see the films I review (even the ones I hate).

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  • Some of my favorite horror movies:
  • Dawn of the Dead (1978)

  • Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn (1987)

  • Martyrs (2008)

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