Review: Chiller 13: The Decade’s Scariest Movie Moments (2010)
Brace yourselves. I have a review for an original production from a cable channel that has no giant creatures, no world ending catastrophes, no shitty CGI f/x, and no questionable acting. That’s right; last night I watched an advanced DVD copy of Chiller Channel’s first original special … and it doesn’t star Dean Cain and wasn’t directed by Colin Ferguson!! Premiering this Friday night (December 17th at 8pm) on the Chiller Channel, is CHILLER 13: THE DECADE’S SCARIEST MOVIE MOMENTS. As I mentioned, this is the channel’s first original programming they’ve put together. It’s a “list show” that counts down the scariest films of the last decade.
CHILLER 13 is presented exactly like Bravo’s 100 SCARIEST MOVIE MOMENTS that airs around Halloween every year. We get a bunch of genre celebrities (actors, directors, f/x specialists, etc …) sitting around talking about the scariest films from the last decade. Here we get staples such as Greg Nicotera, Tony Todd, Lucky McKee, Ti West, and Steve Niles, but we also get a lot of comedians and big breasted chicks who really don’t seem to be experts in the field or even really know all that much about horror films. Sure there’s a lot of funny comments about the films (i.e., “it was so scary I peed my pants a little”), but there wasn’t a lot of insight or fun facts about the films.
And the list itself? Well I’m gonna let you watch it for yourselves so you can be as disappointed as I was. All we get are the typical mainstream releases from the last 10 years. There’s not one indie horror film or even a French film to be found on the list (and let’s face it, the French have dominated the genre in the past decade). In fact you could probably write the list right now and name all the films yourself. Big genre hitters like MARTYRS and INSIDE are nowhere to be found. I was very disappointed. And the typical flicks like (and I’ll only list 2) 28 DAYS LATER and SAW make the list. And let’s talk about 28 DAY LATER … We all know my thoughts on this one; there isn’t an original thought in this entire film AND this isn’t a zombie flick. The killers here are people infected with a rage virus; they haven’t died and come back to life. But besides everyone referring to this as a “zombie movie”, one commentator even has the balls to say that “Before 28 DAYS LATER there was no such thing as a fast zombie.” REALLY?? Are you fucking serious?!!?? There were fast zombies as far back as 1980, in NIGHTMARE CITY, and 1985, RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD (both which came out decades before the inferior 28 DAYS LATER). It’s one thing if the person who made the comment (I’ll let you discover who said that for yourself) doesn’t know their film history, but this is definitely something that should have been caught in post-production (I mean seriously, who hasn’t seen RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD??).
And I’m gonna get a little picky here and point out that the title of the show is somewhat misleading. The title reads THE DECADE’S SCARIEST MOVIE MOMENTS. This implies that the list would be comprised of specific movie moments and not entire films. If this were the case then I could understand why 28 DAYS LATER was on the list. Even though I hate that film there are one or two scary moments. But this list isn’t about specific scary moments; this show does indeed count down the decades scariest films.
Besides being thoroughly annoyed at the inclusion of 28 DAYS LATER being on this list there were many other films that I just don’t understand how they made the cut. Hell; one flick here was on my “Worst of 2009” list from last year!! I really can’t go into much more here without giving away the other films on the list, but I urge you to watch CHILLER 13 (again, premiering this Friday night, December 17 @ 8pm on Chiller) and then come back and visit me. THEN we can really pick apart the list and comment on it in the only way anythinghorror.com can!! It’s definitely a flawed list (in so many ways), but its also a lot of fun to watch these kinds of “list shows” with some friends and tear them a part!! Check this one out and then we’ll discuss the list in more detail next week.
Director: Shane O’Brien
Plot: 3.5 out of 5 (I don’t agree with 98% of the list, but it’s fun to watch)
Gore: 0 out of 10 skulls
Zombie Mayhem: 0 out of 5 brains
Reviewed by Scott Shoyer