Don’t Go In the Woods (2010)
Thanks to frequent contributor Sezin Koehler for this review. This one has been on my radar for most of the year but it always seems something comes up when I’m about to watch it!! But after this review, I think I’m gonna make the damn time.
Be sure to check out Sezin’s American Monster’s blog, Sezin’s personal blog, and her Hybrid Monster blog (she’s a very busy woman!!).
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“In this relentlessly tense slasher film, a well-dressed killer stalks Nick and his bandmates through the woods as they attempt to write some new songs,” says the description of DON’T GO IN THE WOODS on Showtime.
This is the worst description of a movie, and in particular of this one, ever written. That’s the likely reason why the first time I watched DON’T GO IN THE WOODS I was utterly confused. Where is the relentlessness? Where is the well-dressed killer? And why the hell are people suddenly breaking into song?
Confusing and confusinger.
After the movie was over I had to Google it to see what the deal was, to find that the film was meant to be a slasher musical and it was Vincent “Eggar” D’Onofrio’s directorial debut. Might have been good reference points to include in the blurb, Showtime.
Now that I knew what the film was going for I eagerly awaited for its reappearance on Showtime so I could watch it without all the initial frustration of misunderstanding. And it was so worth it.
The one thing Showtime’s synopsis got right was Nick and his bandmates going into the woods to write some new songs. Nick, quite the Spartan, insists on no women, no drugs, no alcohol, no cell phones for the duration of the weekend, claiming that the inspiration of his childhood woods and fresh air would be all they need to write their breakthrough album. He throws weed out the window, he even goes so far as to smash all their cell phones. Yikes.
“Light a fire and pray to the songwriting gods,” Nick says.
And it seems to work. The boys hunker down and start writing some very thoughtful tunes, digging deep into their poetic souls: The makings of a great record develop. Enter, the women: the band’s groupies and friends make a surprise appearance in the woods in the middle of the night equipped with marijuana and tons of liquor, claiming they followed them out there as a surprise.
Nick is fucking pissed. No women was the first rule on his list, and he’s even less happy that one of them is his ex. In spite of the women’s presence, the band continues to write some great tunes, and the a few of the girls even have a chance to sing their own songs. It’s a musical, remember?
One of the girls gets upset that band member Anton is suddenly flirting with the group slut and storms off into the woods with another girl, singing her pain as they go back to the car with the intention of driving to a motel they spotted down the highway.
Neither of them make it. Slasher movie, remember?
More swan songs are sung as the body count rises, many of the ones left standing not even knowing people are missing, let alone dead, as the film reaches quite a stunning musical and murderous climax.
DON’T GO IN THE WOODS is a remarkable film, especially if you’re like me and a fan of both musical and horror genres. There are so few that fall into both categories — the “Once More with Feeling” episode of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW, SWEENY TODD, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, and REPO: THE GENETIC OPERA. It’s a singular subgenre that I for one would love to see much more of, and DON’T GO IN THE WOODS is really nothing like any of its colleagues with sparse sets and untrained actors.
The musicians featured in DON’T GO IN THE WOODS are extremely talented and songwriter Sam Bisbee’s ditties are all simple, but moving numbers, and in spite of only having seen the film once before the songs stuck with me and I was even singing along during my second viewing. That’s pretty cool, man, I’ve got to say that was one of the most enjoyable aspects of watching this film again. I actually still have some of the songs in my head and I can see a great cult movie night with fans of this one, the whole audience participating.
This isn’t a film for everyone, especially if you’re not a big fan of acoustic guitar and a Cure-esque style of singing and songwriting. But there’s something to be said for a first-time director like D’Onofrio to push the genre envelope like this. He’s teased out some interesting performances — none of whom were professional actors or even want to be, the death scenes were wicked and several were more than cringe-worthy. I found the story’s end to be an absolute surprise and quite brilliant. Sam Bisbee’s writing is superb.
In an interview with the Huffington Post, D’Onofrio hinted at a sequel, and I am so hoping that will happen.
For genre fans this is a must-see. Where else can you find a film that is almost equal parts music, blood, and guts?
Sezin’s Summary:
Director: Vincent D’Onofrio
Plot: 4 out of 5 stars
Gore: 7 out of 10 skulls (For me, at least. I’m not a big fan of gore and it hits home whenever it’s there.)
Zombie Mayhem: 0 out of 5 brains
Reviewed by Sezin Koehler
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I am putting this one on my list of must sees as soon as possible! I love horror, I love musicals, and I love D’Onofrio!
I’m a it fan of D’Onofrio, but as I told Sezin … I HATE musicals!! There hasn’t been a musical made that I’d enjoy!! Lol
Katie! Dude, if you love horror and musicals, you’re going to love this film. I’m actually slightly obsessed with it…I made a YouTube folder with all the songs and I’ve since watched it three more times. Oddly enough, I start singing the songs when I’m upset about something. Isn’t that weird? Or maybe kind of awesome? Not sure yet. It’s a singular filmic experience, that’s for sure.
Please go watch it and then come back to comment! I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Cheers,
Sezin
I loathed this film so much. I wrote a review of this last year for another blog (which unfortunately is not up anymore). Would be happy to send it over as a counter-review
Fair enough!
But, out of curiosity, are you a fan of musicals?
My distaste of musicals would be part of the problem
Teddy & Sezin; after watching the trailer I’ve decided NOT to watch this one. And yes; it’s solely based on my hatred of musicals!! Lol
Teddy, aha! In that case it’s like saying “Friday the 13th” sucks because one hates slasher films.
‘Part of the problem’ (general distaste for musicals) is not necessarily indicative of my main criticism. My main problem was it felt incredibly insincere, with little affection for either horror or musicals; lathered in smugness only the hipster-baristas who acted the film could bring. It’s a film that relies on gimmickery over ingenuity, and cannot flesh it out with style or substance.
Solid point, Sezin!! If you hate the genre of the film, you’re bound to hate the overall film!!
Teddy, interesting comments, and I so appreciate you sparking discussion! Yeah!
Though, I have to admit I found quite the opposite of your analysis:
Nobody in the film is a professional actor, so yes their performances can be seen as forced on occasion, but that’s also part of the point of this film. Real people, out in the woods, when a Big Bad is going on…I’m sure nobody looks half as authentic as we wish we could on film. Like what we see in carefully sculpted slasher films like Human Centipede, Texas Chainsaw, I Spit On Your Grave (yes, even the original is crazy sculpted!), etc.
For me, this aspect of realness, of non-photogenic actors, nervousness, even awkward performances, these are the things that gave the film a sense of honesty that other movies don’t have. And can’t have, because the actors aren’t actually feeling, they’re mimicking what they imagine someone in the same situation would do. And nobody in those movies is singing either. The performance of song, of poetry, to me is one of the bravest acts of the living. Ironic since most of what we get in this film are swan songs, the songs of the dying.
And when you say “gimmickry”…I’m actually confused. To me, this was probably one of the most gimmick-free (horror/slasher/musical) films a person could watch, its cast of untrained and unprofessional actors notwithstanding. It’s a simple film, made as a B-Movie, never aspiring to much other than what few fans it will drag up along the way. People like me who are so tired of CGI, and special effects, and mutilated women’s bodies…all the other corporate aspects of not just the horror genre, but of films in general.
The music in this movie is indie. As is its spirit. And for that, I think this film is brilliant. I hope/pray/crave a second installment. I know it won’t be the same. But I know there’s a next that can happen, and I want to see it when it does.
Love,
Zuzu D’Onofrio-Bisbee.
I love the discussion this film has sparked!!
Not taking anything away from Sezin’s review, I’d love to read yours, teddy!!
The gimmickery is largely the sense that (to me at least) the development of the project began as a “Hey guys, what if we did a musical-horror film?” – and just that, rather than employing the strengths (or subverting the weaknesses) of those genres for some thematic purpose. (I won’t weigh in on your comments on singing as, well, that’s something I do). I doubt we’re going to find much common ground on this one (and that’s no bad thing; I would add we’d probably have some good discussions about other things, such as the role of gender in horror etc.).
I’d also add that a variety of paratextual evidence (some included below) fed my critique.
I found a draft of my (alas, now deleted) post on DGitW; I’ve attached it below:
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Exercises in futility: Don’t Go In The Woods
Good Reader, I put to you this question: What’s worse? Hipsters, or an “actor’s actor”
[fn.1] in his 50′s attempting to embrace the post-ironic, post-cultural and nihilistic
world of affluent post-adolescent youth and the death of sincerity?
…
OK, so I don’t really want an answer; the question is purely rhetorical. In fact, as both
possibilities are exercises in futility, there’s little to truly distinguish them. (Also, too
much use of “post” for my liking too, admittedly.)
But that’s what Don’t Go In The Woods precisely is: futile. Not absurd; futile.
I won’t bore you with the particulars for long. Quasi-hipster [fn.2] band go into
the woods to write new tunes. A slasher is killing them off one-by-one. Lots of
forgettable songs are sung. It’s a slasher-musical.
The film could have easily had a dark and genuine subtext about said demographics,
as American Psycho arguably did about Manhattan yuppies. Rather, it’s a gimmick
masquerading as irony or a ‘thought bubble’.
Am I being too harsh?
From BHF [http://ossuary.best-horror-movies.com/m/news/view/96335/-Interview-Vincent-D-Onofrio-Trades-Full-Metal-Jacket-for-a-Slas]:
BHM
Sounds great. Are you a big horror fan generally?
Vincent
It’s one of my favorite genres. I’ve been watching them since I was a kid, I think like
most of us. I think the thing I like about horror films most is that they are… not meant
to be critiqued? You watch a horror film expecting that you have to take a certain leap
of faith with it, and that you know you’re going to see unexplained violence on top of
this kind of intense, thriller aspect. It’s the only genre where… I think all of the other
genres like Sci-fi, Comedy and dramatic films, you go in with this feeling of “I hope
it’s a great film” whereas a horror film you really don’t go in thinking that. You just
go in thinking “I’m gonna go see a horror movie”.
Genre is not a Get-Out clause, Vince.
Above: Performed by This Guy
Below: Trailer
fn.1 The very fact VD’O is on that website that gets defensive about the use of the H-
word is perhaps a ’nuff said moment for the theme of this post. [missing link for this]
fn.2 Read: early-to-mid-2000′s indie, which is becoming passée enough now to be
ironic enough to appropriate, so long as said appropriation is ahead of the curve of
ironic early-2000′s appropriation.
Hi Teddy!
I’m so glad my review has sparked such a lively discussion!
But, at the same time, I think we’ll just have to agree to disagree on how we feel about this film.
For me Don’t Go In The Woods is a movable feast of horror tropes matched with song in a way that’s never been done before. It resonates. With me. I don’t focus on the myriad of things that might be wrong with this film.
I think this is a beautiful monster of a movie.
And I don’t think any less of you for not agreeing with me.
Like I said, let’s agree to disagree.
Though, hey, please chime in next time there’s a genre film with questionable female roles, especially if I’m reviewing the film. *That* is far more in my realm of expertise, both as an academic scream queen and a feminist.
Cheers,
Zuzu Bisbee-D’Onofrio
I love “Grease”! But that hasn’t got ANY THING HORROR so just forget it. I said: FORGET IT, FOR SATAN’S SAKE!
I’m not a fan of musicals at all. At all. I gave this one a shot anyway but couldn’t get into it.
I love that one song i heard sometime in a horrormovie: Nights in dark red blood… Never reaching the end… Letters i’ve written… Never meaning to send… etc. I don’t remember what the name of the movie or the song was though. I’ve must have picked it up subliminally…