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U.K Cinema to Employ “Ninjas” to Keep the Audience Quiet

Cinema-Ninja-550x323

My level of respect just went up for the UK and the Prince Charles Cinema in London. According to SlashFilms.com, the theater is going to be employing volunteer “ninjas” to regulate good behavior among the audience. Sorry, no katana’s or throwing stars. The so-called ninjas are ordinary cinephiles who agree to “guard” screenings in exchange for free admission. When they spot a patron talking, texting, throwing popcorn, kicking seats, or otherwise engaging in rude behavior, they swoop down to give the jerk in question a talking-to.

One of the program’s recent targets, moviegoer Abdul Stagg, recounted his experience:

I normally hate noisy people in cinemas, but I got a call from my friend just as the movie started and thought I could get away with taking it. The last thing I expected was two completely blacked-out people suddenly appearing by our seats and [giving] me and my mates a warning to shut up. It was actually pretty terrifying at first, but then I realised it was a bit of a laugh and a great way to make it clear what I was doing was having an impact on those around me. It certainly made me hang up and shut up for the rest of the film.”

The scheme came about when Morphsuits co-founder Gregor Lawson found himself fed up with the inconsiderate audiences he ran into at the theater. Lawson’s Edinburgh-based company is known for their skintight full-body “zentai” suits, and he wondered if he could use his products to help solve the problem.

“I’m a big fan of going to the cinema, but there’s an unspoken code of conduct when you’re watching a movie that some people just don’t understand. Then, when some fans were discussing being ninjas in their Morphsuits on our Facebook page, I had a ‘eureka’ moment. I thought I’d find a cinema and see if we could bring a lighthearted task force to the aid of movie fans.”

Bravo!! I honestly don’t think any U.S theater chain would have the cajones to do this!! But I’m all for every theater having a cell phone “jammer” where no cell phone works in a theater. If one more fucktard answers his or her phone in the middle of a movie, I’m liable to go medieval on their ass (that includes all the asshole texters in the audience as well).

What do you think?

Stay Bloody!!!

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  • Some of my favorite horror movies:
  • Dawn of the Dead (1978)

  • Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn (1987)

  • Martyrs (2008)

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