Deggsy’s Worst Horror Films of 2015

the_grumpy_cat__happy_new_year_____d_by_cartoonrockfan93-d709aa5Hello again, you sexy f**kers! (You ugly bastards keep scrolling, I’m not talking to you) and here we are, at the end of yet another year! And life just seems to keep throwing things at us like we’re sitting on some wall waiting to get knocked down. Sometimes they’re nice things being thrown, like new jobs that pay your bills even if they make you work unearthly hours. Other times, it’s things like DVDs of GROWN UPS 2, which go down as well as Jello from Bill Cosby.

We lost a few people this year, names in and out of the horror business: Sir Christopher Lee. Wes Craven. Gunnar Hansen. Lemmy. Yvonne Craig. James Horner. Chris Squire. Terry Pratchett. Leonard Nimoy. Rod Taylor. And think of all those who sadly didn’t die: Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler…

Looking back on what I considered the Best and Worst THAT I’VE WATCHED IN 2015 (Get that, folks? I will surely have missed a few gems and turds along the way given the way real life works – I definitely want the chance to see CIRCUS OF THE DEAD, for instance – but maybe you can offer some other suggestions and/or warnings for me), it’s a small but strange bunch, some of them maybe not even being classed strictly as horror. there’s a few Westerns in there, too, strangely enough. Typical: you wait years for a Western-themed horror, and then three come along at once…

And because I’m told to always end things on an upswing (as the hangman said), I’ll start with my list of the Worst Horror Movies of 2015, some with links to the earlier, more detailed reviews:

FF4FANT4STIC FOUR: First of all, you’ve got that idiotic thing where a number is substituted for a letter or letters in the title, because it looks cool and hip, but in reality looks as dated and embarrassing like your grandfather trying to be cool as fuck (unless your grandfather is David Bowie, in which case he *is* cool as fuck). You’d think the premise would be fairly easy to pull off – they’re superheroes who are like a family – but somehow gets botched and muddled up. It’s not helped when you hand your multi-million dollar franchise to a man who only made one low-budget movie beforehand. When a shitty Roger Corman version ends up being more faithful to the source material, you know you’re fucked.

EJP4EXTINCTION JURASSIC PREDATORS: Wow, this really annoyed me. I mean, like having to sit next to Fran Dreschler on a transatlantic flight annoying. If this was a Bingo Card listing all the tired cliches of the Found Footage genre, PLUS the inclusion of one of the most annoying central characters since Jar Jar Binks, then you’d be taking home the top prize before killing yourself when you realise this is the best your life is gonna get. Enjoy the DVD cover, because it’s better than anything you’re gonna see in the actual movie, where a film crew consisting of a couple of assholes with backpacks allegedly go into the Amazon (which looks suspiciously like Wales) and get attacked, the film footage was found later on with no trace of the crew, yadda yadda…)

TWD6THE WALKING DECEASED: Comedy is a fickle thing, like one of those inbred monarchs – so easy to get things wrong, and then you find yourself in a dungeon getting fingered by a hunchback (or is that just me?). Someone should tell these filmmakers that there’s more to making spoofs or satires of the genres than throwing in identifiable references to sources such as THE WALKING DEAD, ZOMBIELAND, WARM BODIES, SHAUN OF THE DEAD and probably others. The secret is to tap into what makes these sources worth spoofing or satirising. Oh, and maybe you can have some jokes in your comedy, too? Or am I being overly demanding, like some beefy, very handsome version of Verucca Salt?

The-Hateful-EightTHE HATEFUL EIGHT: Not necessarily horror, but Tarantino gets a pass for his genre credentials, and because I reviewed his last movie DJANGO UNCHAINED here, and while I enjoyed that, this movie was everything that could have gone wrong with DJANGO: overlong, boring, repetitious in dialogue and action, this tale of eight nasty characters stuck in a cabin in a blizzard could have been cut in half. Tarantino’s taken the fanboys’ love of his long monologues too much to heart and gave us a self-indulgent home movie of his favourite character actors playing Cowboys Who Talk Alot; the few instances of gore are hardly worth it. 

imagesTHE VATICAN TAPES: Everything you expect a PG-13 horror to be. I’ve seen scarier demons on Scooby Doo. 

What, you want more? No. Screw you. Instead, I’ll tell you a story about going off this Christmas to Whitby, on the east coast of England, where the English parts of Bram Stoker’s Dracula was set. We spent the evening in a dog-friendly pub where our border terrier Edna feasted on bacon treats and lots of attention. I eventually brought her back to the cottage where we were staying, but the little scamp ran out when the wind blew open the front door, and she raced directly back to the pub to the delight of all the customers. What a happy little pup she was that night!

Trust me, that little anecdote was more entertaining than this movie.

S20THE SAND: This one falls into the More Disappointing Than Bad. Okay, it was bad in places too. But it had the core of a decent idea: a group of partygoers wake up on an isolated beach finding themselves surrounded by something that is buried beneath the surface, something which shoots up tendrils that devour flesh. All flesh. Alone and bereft of contact with the outside world. It could have worked.

Instead, we get a collection of unpleasant shrill characters cursing and screaming at each other – seriously, is it that complicated a thing for screenwriters to remember that suspense is generated by caring for the characters in peril? – and by not staying with the subtle-but-effective effects they used for most of the movie, and ending with a garish, shitty monster for the finale, a display of animation that makes the worst of the Asylum look like the best of Christopher Nolan.

So there are my worst. But what of my best? Stay tuned…

5 OF THE BEST HORROR-COMEDIES

Horror and comedy have always been the perfect combination of genres that have come together to create some truly funny and scary cinematic amalgamations. Horror often walks that fine line of sinister chills and tongue-in-cheek terror and has always been a genre to champion the fact that it sometimes tries to not take itself too seriously. And it has therefore left itself open to loveable parody and hilarious comedic movie moments over the years. We take a look at just some of the best.

comedies3

DEAD ALIVE (AKA BRAINDEAD)

Zombie-related movies are one of the most commonly used sub-genres of horror that welcome a mix of fear and funny. Long before he was dealing with Hobbits and dragons director Peter Jackson was dabbling in low-budget horror efforts in his native New Zealand, one of which was 1992’s ‘Dead Alive’ (better known as ‘Braindead’ in the UK). It’s one of the goriest films ever made and a brilliantly conceived horror-fare that is filled with twisted humour and sickening sequences.

comedies4

SHAUN OF THE DEAD

The expansion of a very short zombie sequence featured in their comedy series ‘Spaced’ was the catalyst for writer/actor Simon Pegg and director Edgar Wright’s comedy-horror creation Shaun of the Dead. Loveable loser Shaun’s life can’t possibly get any worse until an unlikely zombie apocalypse gives him a shot at redemption with his one true love. It’s one of the most solid, finest and funniest horror comedies of all time filled with nods and references for horror fans to enjoy again and again.

comedies2

GHOSTBUSTERS

It’s one of the most iconic movies of all time and this 80’s cult classic comedy horror has quite literally become a template for how popular movies in this genre should be executed. With comic talent such as Dan Aykroyd and Bill Murray at the height of their popularity and on top form it was a project that had obvious cache from the outset but no-one could have possibly predicted just what a film phenomenon it would have become.

comedies5

EVIL DEAD II

Following the success of Sam Raimi’s low-budget horror offering ‘The Evil Dead’ he was given the green light to follow it up in 1987 with ‘Evil Dead II’. The loveable Bruce Campbell returns as our hero Ash, the lone survivor holding up inside a creepy cabin in the woods as he fends of possessive spirits. Considered by many to be even better than the original the movie is more of a semi-reboot than a sequel with the opening scenes acting as a recreation and a retelling of the story more so than following things up. Even pratfalls, over-the-top gore, and obvious ‘Three Stooges’ slapstick don’t get in the way of the brilliant direction and the unforgettable horror scenes.

comedies1

HOCUS POCUS

Our next entry often features in many family friendly horror movie lists and is great fun for the whole family to enjoy. Bette Midler and ‘Sex and the City‘s Sarah Jessica Parker star as witches who find themselves resurrected in Salem on Halloween night. It’s a typically ‘Disney’-esque project that uses light horror themes to thrill young viewers whilst still appealing to the older generation.

This is a sponsored article.

Stay Bloody!!!

EvilQueenB’s Horrific Guide To Black Christmas Shopping

EvilQueenB just made you Black Friday shopping experience all the more easy with a list of suggestions on where to find the perfect gift for the horror fan in your life. She’s truly a lifesaver!! — Anything Horror Scott

_____

It’s that time of year again, when we as horror fans, must suffer with the end of October and move forward to the brutality of the Christmas season. So, I wanted to try and make it a bit more easier for you by sharing some of my favorite places to find collectibles, apparel and more online and for those braving the holiday crowds….remember stick to the moors!

Collectibles:

Entertainment Earth Do you have family and friends with varying areas of fandom who you want to get them something special, but you don’t want to endure the hassle of running all over hell’s half acre trying to find them something. Well, then this is the site for you! They have all things geek, which is sure to put an evil grin on the most hardcore friends on your list. I will tell you that there are so many items on this site that it can be a bit overwhelming, but if you navigate to the already established horror section it should be smooth sailing from there. Special Offers – Daily, Weekly and Monthly Specials Currently up to 95% off in their Pre-Black Sale.

entertainmentearth

Big Bad Toys If you want figures and collectibles well then checkout this site! From NECA, Funko, Square Enix and more this place has a little bit of everything including a life size egg & face hugger! Now if that doesn’t scream Happy Holidays I don’t know what does! If you can’t find a figure to put under the severed tree then you can pick up a graphic novel or some apparel items. Either way this site can help with those black Christmas blues. Special Offers – Deep Discounts & Black Friday Sale on Transformers.

bigbadtoy

Sideshow Collectibles If you want to drop some serious coin on that special someone or just yourself (hey, we’ve all been there). Then checkout Sideshow Collectibles for some absolutely drool worthy statues (the Hellraiser Pinhead statue makes me want to sell my plasma just to own it)! Although it’s superhero heavy I love that they didn’t forget about horror with their Predator, Rick Grimes, Dracula, Court of Death, as well as a new Alien girl statue and many more, none of the items on their site will need a gift receipt attached to them. Now, if some of the statues are a little too rich for your blood, most have payment plans…..so now there are no excuses to celebrate with a Sideshow Collectible this holiday season! Special Offers – Sign up for their newsletter and receive $15 off your purchase.

Sideshow

Apparel:

Horrormerch.com What’s a horror fan without her horror merch! I first came across them at a Horrorhound convention and I really loved their items, large in part because they were the only place selling girly fit shirts, which is basically the equivalent of finding the Holy Grail in horror girl land. Pretty much any shirt they have you can get in a variety of apparel choices from long-sleeve, hooded sweatshirts and tank tops, which is a rare find. What is also great about their site is there seems to be a never ending variety of all things horror you can purchase. You can’t go wrong this horrific holiday season when purchasing from them and the horror fiend in your life will thank you. Special Offers – Buy 3 Shirts, get 1 Free or Buy 5 shirts, get 2 Free.

horromerch

Superherostuff.com I know what you are saying, “But Evil this a horror shopping article not a superhero shopping article!” I actually came across this place when I was at C2E2 several years ago, not only is their set up massive, but they have stuff for every nerd including horror nerds (hey we are rarely included in anything)! Their horror selection isn’t just t-shirts, it also has magnets, glassware, wallets, bags and more. This site has an abundance of everything nerdy for the holidays and like Entertainment Earth it’s one stop shopping for those that have several fandoms on their list. Their items are unique, fun and they also run different shipping and discount deals throughout the year. You can’t go wrong with a trip to this site. Special Offers – 13% off orders $35+.

superherostuff

Thinkgeek.com This a great place if you are looking for some exclusive geek gifts to give. Although their horror section is rather small consisting of zombies and The Walking Dead there are still some great holiday items to be found. Special Offers – 20% off orders of $40+ (until Nov 24th), Doorbusters & Free Shipping on Orders over $75.

thinkgeek

Fright-rags.com This is one of the best places to find those one of a kind crafted horror shirts. Instead of just poster images or screenshot these horror shirts have been taken to a new level, that you really have to see for yourself. Their inventory including girl shirts, horror shirt collections that consist of Day of the Dead, Trick r Treat, Halloween and more as well as posters, hats, socks, stickers and more. I’ll warn you choosing what to purchase will be a hard decision to make. Special Offers – Join their mailing list and get 10% off your first purchase.

frightrags

Teefury The t-shirt a day concept is a great one and I’ve enjoyed picking up those unusual and creative shirts. What some may not have realized is that they also house a huge collection of shirts, which includes horror t-shirts, horror zip-up hoodies and horror artwork. If their horror section doesn’t tickle your dismembered brain then check out their Villain collection, which also consists of horror villains, because all villains need a loving home this holiday season. Special Offers 30% off leggings.

teefury

Hot Topic – Sure it’s the Gothic wasteland that teenagers worship and parents loathe, but even at my age (yes I’m old) I still love the store. I like that once you get past the mind numbing blaring music (hey I said I was old) their various fandoms are nicely sectioned out and even with all the Harry Potter, Anime, Doctor Who and Batman, horror is still there loud and proud. With Supernatural, American Horror Story as well as horror icons Jason and Freddy, you can always find that special someone something horrifying.  Specials Offered – 25% off Clearance (online only), $15 in Hot Cash for every $30 Spent and Buy One Get One 50% (in-store only)

hottopic

Home Decor:

allposters.com We have all been there where you want to give someone a really nice gift, but you are low on funds and maybe ideas too. This site is a great place to pick up a great piece of horror art at a low price. If you also wanted to jazz it up, you can take advantage of their framing and matting services or you can, go to your local Hobby Lobby (or other craft store), which usually has their frames 50% off or higher off, pick up a matte, which usually only runs a few dollars, put them all together and you have a really amazingly matted and framed piece of horror art for that special horror friend in your life. Specials Offered – Currently none, but they usually do daily discounts so check back.

allposters

Horrordecor – If you are looking for some rare horror decor that screams I bleed for horror then horrordecor.net is the place for you. With pillows, candles and more, it’s like a small slice of Martha Stewart, if Martha Stewart had homicidal tendencies. You will want to note that their items are custom and can take up 3-4 weeks to receive so get ordering now! Special Offers- Currently none available.

horrordecor

Let me know where you will be shopping this Black Christmas season. If you need additional gift giving ideas, you can always give the gift of games. Check out these Christmas-themed games. I’d love to hear from you. Hit me up on Twitter @horrorevilqueen

10 Films That Need to be Remade

Wanna know something? Horror remakes are here to stay. I know, I know; not exactly earth-shattering news. The horror remake has been a mainstay in Hollywood for a long time now with no end in sight. I find it funny that people still get angry when a new horror remake is announced. That’s like getting angry because there’s a Monday in every week.

I’m not completely against horror remakes. There’s been more than a few that have been better than the original. There are also some horror films that, for many different reasons, should be remade.

Below is my list of horror films that need to be remade. Remaking the following films won’t just introduce these films to a new audience, but remaking them will result in an overall stronger film.

Remade The Hidden

THE HIDDEN (1987)

This film has a solid story: A cop and an FBI agent team up to hunt down a serial killer who isn’t exactly what he/she seems. The performances are great and the f/x are damn good for 1987, but The Hidden suffers from being hopelessly outdated. The Hidden reeks of the 1980s, and this actually hurts the overall film. The killer goes into a record store; all the cops are using typewriters; the police station’s cutting-edge computer lab consists of a few Commodore 64’s. All these elements really takes away from the experience of the film. Plus, I think there could be more horror elements in this flick. This would be an easy film to update. The skeleton of the film is solid, it just needs a cosmetic facelift to update the technology and overall feel of the film.

Remade Night Creeps

NIGHT OF THE CREEPS (1986)

This classic film needs a remake for the same reasons as The Hidden. It has an outdated 1980’s feel to it that really pulls you out of the movie. And let’s face it, Night of the Creeps could also benefit from some better f/x.

Remade CHUD

C.H.U.D. (1984)

Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers. With a title like this how could this film fail? Well, it does. The titular creatures barely get any screen time. This film is begging to be updated into a fantastic creature flick!!

Remade Pumpkinhead

PUMPKINHEAD (1988)

Stan Winston’s directorial debut is an overall fantastic movie. Winston gives us one of the scariest creatures in modern horror, but I feel like Pumpkinhead underachieves and we never really get to see him in all his demonic glory.

Remade Phantasm

PHANTASM (1979)

This film has a lot going for it. It’s got a fantastic horror villain (The Tall Man), silver spheres that are flying Cuisinarts, and it has one of the creepiest atmospheres and tones around. But Phantasm suffers from a dated 1970s feel and from a wonky plot. Get someone in there who could make a more linear storyline (the mythology in this film is terrific) and you’ve got yourself a winner!!

Remade Stuff

THE STUFF (1985)

Another classic film that suffers from the era in which it is made. The Stuff is a yogurt-like substance that is actually a living thing that eats people from the inside out. The film pokes fun at dieting fads, consumerism, and advertising. With today’s controversy of GMOs, what better time is there for a remake of The Stuff?

Remade Warning Sign

WARNING SIGN (1985)

This is a largely forgotten about scifi-action-horror film from the mid-1980s about a top secret government facility being locked down after an experimental virus gets loose. The cure is of course inside the facility, and so are the scientists who are infected with a rage-like pathogen. Warning Sign needs a facelift to update the technology and the special f/x. Solid movie, though.

Remade Blood Beach

BLOOD BEACH (1980)

The argument could be made that Blood Beach was already remade and called Tremors, but I think a more faithful remake is in order. Blood Beach is about a creature that lives at the beach and sucks people under the sand and eats them. It’s got a killer poster and some great taglines including, “Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water—you can’t get to it,” and “…where the water is the safest place to be!” This fun film definitely needs a remake in the special f/x and story departments.

Remade Galaxy Terror

GALAXY OF TERROR (1981)

Arguably one of Roger Corman’s best cheesiest sci-fi/horror films. This one features a wacky cast and some of the most bizarre death scenes you’ll see. But Galaxy of Terror wallows around in its own cheesiness. With some script changes, this film could be downright terrifying.

Remade Fade Black1

FADE TO BLACK (1980)

A lonely outcast who is also an unhinged movie geek decides to exact cinematic-style revenge on those who have crossed him. Remake this film with more modern day horror films as the killers inspirations and you’ve got a winner. This is a creepy, effective film that just feels outdated now.

Which films do you think need to be remade? Anything on this list piss you off? I want to hear from you all!!

Stay Bloody!!!

Anything Horror Scott’s Favorite Mind Fuck Films

The “mind fuck” film is exactly what it sounds like. This is a type of movie that messes with your head the entire length of the film. When the mind fuck film is done right it makes your jaw drop and you wind up sitting in your chair as the credits roll. I’ve been a fan of this sub-genre since seeing JACOB’S LADDER back in 1990.

What makes JACOB’S LADDER such a great mind fuck flick is that it’s not just the ending that fucks with you; the entire movie, every second of it, keeps poking at your brain daring you to try and understand what’s going on. When you think you’ve figured out what’s happening, bam, the movie shifts gears and fucks with you even more.

Many people confuse a mind fuck movie with a film that simply offers a twist ending. This isn’t the same thing. THE SIXTH SENSE, for example, is a great film with an ending that knocks your socks off, but this isn’t a mind fuck film. The majority of THE SIXTH SENSE is a standard film of a doctor trying to help a young boy.

Below is my list (in no particular order) of some of my favorite mind fuck films. I love all these movies and watch them all over and over again. Every time I watch one of the films on this list, I get something new out of it.

Mind Jacob's Ladder

JACOB’S LADDER (1990)

There’s not a weak element in this film. From the acting to the script to the special effects, Jacob’s Ladder is a damn-near perfect film. Director Adrian Lyne masterfully controls the material here and keeps the audience wondering what the hell is happening. If you haven’t seen this film, don’t look it up and don’t read anyone’s reviews of it. Just go buy the DVD and watch it. It’ll blow your fucking socks off.

Mind Attic

THE ATTIC EXPEDITIONS (2001)

Seth Green, Jeffrey Combs, Ted Raimi, and Alice Cooper all star in a movie helmed by the guy who directed the 2007 Wizard of Gore remake, Jeremy Kasten??!!? A guy is sentenced to a mental hospital for killing his girlfriend, but starts to question whether he actually killed her, or if he’s just a pawn in some strange brainwashing experiment. This one keeps you scratching your head and wondering what the fuck’s going on. Repeated viewings are recommended.

Mind Videodrome

VIDEODROME (1983)

I may be stretching the definition of what a mind fuck film is by including Videodrome on this list, but if you’ve seen this film you know why I’m including it. A sleazy cable TV station owner (James Woods) becomes obsessed with tracking down a television show titled “Videodrome.” This show has no script, no plot, and, as one character observes, “no recurring guest stars.” Oh, but there’s a whole lot more going on in this movie. This film really messes with your head. Videodrome isn’t just my favorite David Cronenberg movie, it’s one of my favorite films, period.

Mind Darko

DONNIE DARKO (2001) – Time travel? A near death experience? A large rabbit predicting the end of the world? What the hell is going on here?!? You may never know, but it sure is a fun ride. Donnie Darko became an instance cult classic and after you watch it a few times, you’ll understand why.

Mind Angel Heart

ANGEL HEART (1987) – I love this film! I remember the first time I saw it: I was living in a shitty little apartment in Ottawa, Canada and had no cable. I only got three channels and one Saturday night Angel Heart came on around one in the morning. I was mesmerized by Mickey Rourke’s portrayal as Harry Angel, a private detective hired by a mysterious man to find another guy called Johnny Favorite. Just sit back and enjoy all the twists and turns this one takes. And just wait until you see Robert De Niro peel that goddamn hardboiled egg!!!

Mind Head Trauma

HEAD TRAUMA (2006) – A man returns home after being away for twenty years to settle his dead grandmother’s estate. As he cleans the house he gets hit in the head and this triggers a series of very vivid nightmares and waking visions. Soon the line blurs between what is real and what is “unreal”. Directed by Lance Weiler (one-half of the directing team behind 1998’s The Last Broadcast), this one keeps you on edge the entire time.

Mind Don't Look Now

DON’T LOOK NOW (1973) – A classic from the 70’s. Donnie Sutherland and Julie Christie recently lost their young daughter. Sutherland takes them to Venice on business and there they meet a psychic who claims to “see” the spirit of their dead daughter. But there’s so much more going on here. This film is heavy in atmosphere and drips gloom. After watching this film, you feel that there’s no hope in the universe. And just wait until you see that goddamn ending!!

Mind Chasing Sleep

CHASING SLEEP (2000) – This is a little known gem starring Jeff Daniels as a professor who wakes up one morning to find his wife never came home the night before. As he searches to find out what happened to her he is stricken with insomnia. As his sleep deprivation gets worse and worse, reality and hallucinations merge together. Writer-director Michael Walker fucks around with the viewer until we get a great reveal at the end. I was way impressed with Daniel’s performance; I didn’t know he had it in him.

These are some of my favorite mind fuck flicks.  I know this is an incomplete list, so tell me your favorite mind fuck movie.  You know I wanna hear from you all.

Stay Bloody!!!

Anything Horror Scott’s Favorite Slow Burn Films

So what’s a “slow burn” flick?  Glad you asked.  I consider a movie a ‘slow-burn’  when it doesn’t immediately hit you just how good and/or disturbing a movie it is, but does after some time passes.  I put my picks here below as a list, and there’s some flicks on the list that I must admit that I didn’t even like after I saw it for the first time!!  For example, after I first watched 2004’s CALVAIRE I didn’t like it at all.  I turned it off, returned the DVD to Netflix and thought that was that.  But the next day I found myself thinking about Calvaire…. a lot. Then 2 days later I was still thinking about it!! Something about that movie got deep under my skin and I couldn’t get it outta my head. So I got it and watched it again and when it was over I immediately watched it a third time.  CALVAIRE, it turns out, is a deeply disturbing and unsettling movie. It’s also one of those flicks that defies a label (although I put it firmly in the horror genre) and it requires at least 2-3 viewings. I know; that’s a lot to ask for. We’re all busy and most of the time it’s difficult enough to find the time to sit down and watch a movie, yet alone watch the same one 2-3 times. But trust me; you’ll be rewarded with one of the creepiest, disturbing, get-under-your-skin films you’ve ever seen.

What’s been a “slow burn”  horror movie for you?  I know we all have them.  Leave your thoughts!!

Slow Calvaire

CALVAIRE (2004):  See my above comments. Definitely check this one out.

Slow Snuff

SNUFF (2008, documentary):  This is a flawed documentary that really doesn’t accomplish what it sets out to do (to examine if snuff films are real and expose them).  But there are 2 interviews that I just couldn’t stop thinking about that got under my skin in the days after I watched this one.  One is an interview with an ex-FBI agent as he talks about a Russian man who filmed the actual sexual assault and slaughter of young boys, and the other is towards the end and is an interview with a b-movie director.  Those 2 interviews are fucking disturbing!!

Slow Broken

BROKEN (2006):  After watching this I just wrote it off as another “torture-porn” flick and thought that was that.  But the days following my first viewing had me thinking about the ending a lot.  This is NOT your typical torture-porn; this is so disturbing and bleak (and just wait for that ending) that you’ll be depressed for days after watching it. I love this flick!!

Slow Last Horror1

THE LAST HORROR MOVIE (2003):  Not a perfect film by any means.  I just kinda wrote it off after I first saw it.  But then I kept thinking about the ending where the killer breaks the 4th wall and talks directly to the viewer.  I’m getting chills up and down my spine right now as I think about it!!  I double checked to make sure my doors were locked for days after I saw this.

Slow Session9

SESSION 9 (2001):  I loved this movie after my first viewing.  Creepy and unsettling.  But the final “reveal” where we learn who the actual killer is and his motivations for the killings just stuck with me.  I didn’t have any kids when I first saw this one, but watching it over again after my first was born elevated this one to a whole new level.  The killer’s motivations are so realistic I couldn’t shake this one for a long time.

Slow Girl Next Door

THE GIRL NEXT DOOR (2007):  As the movie ends you are definitely horrified by the treatment of Megan at the hands of the next door neighbor, but the days following my watching this one I just couldn’t get it outta my head that this was based on true events.  It makes you never wanna meet your neighbors.

Slow Let the Right

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (2008):  Like most of the flicks on this list I didn’t really care for this one at first.  Yes I thought the performances were great, but I didn’t really care for the story.  But I couldn’t get that goddamn final scene of Oskar riding on the train, obviously Eli’s new “keeper.” This is a great creepy film that gets to ya!!

Slow Vinyan

VINYAN (2008):  Same director as Calvaire.  This guy has a way of making a movie that just doesn’t seem to be much at first but somehow creeps into your subconscious and fucks you up days after you watch it.  After I saw this one I was very “meh” about it.  But then that night I had a VERY fucked up nightmare about this movie and watched it again.  Creepy, disturbing, and sad folks.

Slow Joshua

JOSHUA (2006):  WARNING:  Make sure you get the 2006 Joshua directed by Travis Betz.  This is an indie horror flick that doesn’t seem like much after a first viewing but it really stayed with me.  The treatment and torture of the baby by a group of adolescents was fucking disturbing!!  I bought this one and still can’t get myself to watch it again.

What are your favorite slow burn films?

Stay Bloody!!!

Anything Horror Scott’s Favorite Horror Films That Aren’t Actually Horror Films

The horror genre is the most diverse genre around, with tons of sub-genres and sub-sub-genres. Often times Hollywood stays away from giving new releases the “scarlet H” moniker. Labeling a film “horror” makes the mainstream uneasy, but there are a lot of big Hollywood flicks out there marketed as thrillers and psychological thrillers that are full of horror themes and elements. Here’s my list of my favorite horror films that aren’t actually horror films.

Let me know what your favorites horror films that aren’t actually horror films are.

Horror Requiem

Darren Aronofsky’s REQUIEM FOR A DREAM (2000) and BLACK SWAN (2010)

Right off the bat we get a filmmaker who walks the line between thriller and horror in most of his films. Darren Aronofsky is a talented filmmaker who often times gives the audience a horrifying look into abject horror without ever presenting a demon, serial killer, or giant creature. Requiem for a Dream has so many horrifying scenes that there’s too many to list. But just tell me that Ellen Burstyn’s decent into addiction isn’t fucking horrifying (as is all the cast’s).

Horror Black Swan

In BLACK SWAN we get a different type of horror as a young dancer (Natalie Portman) is dominated and controlled by her overbearing mother (Barbara Hershey) to the point where she cracks and begins to have difficulty distinguishing between fantasy and reality. Portman gives the performance of her career as a young woman descending into madness.

Horror Cook Thief Lover

Peter Greenaway’s THE COOK, THE THEIF, HIS WIFE, & HER LOVER (1989)

This is a hugely entertaining black comedy about a wife and her abusive husband who frequent the same fancy London restaurant for dinner every night. The wife meets a kindly customer in the restaurant and begins an affair. When hubby finds out, he’s not happy and things get pretty bad. There are more than a few scenes of brutality that will make you flinch (that damn fork through the cheek!!).

Horror Apt Pupil

Bryan Singer’s APT PUPIL (1998)

The first movie I can think of where the Nazi isn’t the monster. Singer presents a chilling portrait of obsession as a young man (Brad Renfro) blackmails a Nazi into telling him everything he knows. Creepy stuff.

Horror Seven

David Fincher’s SE7EN (1995) and GONE GIRL (2014)

You know I couldn’t leave Fincher off this list. I think I need to convince you that SE7EN is largely a horror film. The film is about a serial killer that kills people according to the seven deadly sins, but of course the studio wouldn’t label this film a horror movie. Instead it is called a drama/mystery/thriller. Whatever!!

Horror Gone Girl

GONE GIRL also has many horror elements in it (especially Neil Patrick Harris’ character), but watching this film gave me an uneasy feeling from beginning to end. Amy (Rosamund Pike) is a class-A sociopath, and in the end, Affleck’s character winds up inches own Hell that there’s no way out of.

Horror Butcher Boy2

Neil Jordan’s THE BUTCHER BOY (1997)

If you haven’t seen this film, I highly recommend it. When the film begins, Francie (Eamonn Owens) is a normal, playful child who has a rich fantasy life. But Francie’s environment is full of violent, alcoholic, manic-depressive, suicidal parents and other negative things which impress upon his young mind. We watch as all the elements in Francie’s life weigh upon him until he erupts into brutal violence. THE BUTCHER BOY explores the “making of” a sociopath. It’s a brilliant film.

Horror Antichrist1

Lars von Trier’s ANTICHRIST (2009)

Need any convincing? Just the name “Lars von Trier” alone should be enough. MELANCHOLIA, DOGVILLE, and even NYMPHOMANIAC Vols. One and Two, fit this list perfectly, but there’s just something about ANTICHRIST that is extremely unnerving. Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg’s young son dies while they’re having sex. The couple retreats to a cabin in the woods (Trier even uses the oldest horror setting in the book) to mourn their loss, but instead each becomes consumed by their grief. Hallucinations, meeting talking animals, and sadistic and violent sexual deviancy (there’s a lot of genital mutilation here) accent this film as we watch a couple torn apart by their sorrow and guilt.

Horror Jacob's Ladder

Special Mention:

Adrian Lyne’s JACOB’S LADDER (1990)

I’m including JACOB’S LADDER as a special mention because this film has embraced its horror label. Jacob (Tim Robbins) is a traumatized Vietnam vet who returns home to find that he sees demons everywhere. Is it PTSD? Is he going crazy? Is it connected to the trauma he experienced in Vietnam? Jacob even begins experiencing shifts in reality. He goes to sleep with one wife and wakes up with another. This film has elements of a mystery, a psychological thriller, a drama, and even has heavy conspiracy overtones in it. But don’t be fooled, this brilliant film is a horror film through and through. The visions inside the hospital will give you nightmares for days!!

So what’s you favorite horror films that aren’t actually horror films? There’s a lot of possible flicks out there that fit this bill. Can’t wait to hear your picks.

Stay Bloody!!!

Anything Horror Scott’s Favorite Horror Franchises

The summer of 2015 is gearing up to be The Summer of Sequels. We’ve already had THE WOMAN IN BLACK 2, [REC] 4, TAKEN 3, and AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON, and in the upcoming months we’ll be getting INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 3, JURASSIC WORLD, TERMINTOR: GENISYS, SINISTER 2, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: THE GHOST DIMENSION, and STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS (and I’m sure I missed a few). So I thought this would be a good time to list my favorite horror franchises out there.

Please note that my criteria for a franchise is at least three films in a series (sorry PREDATOR and LAID TO REST). I can watch all these franchises again and again without ever getting bored. This list isn’t in any particular order.

Franchise Romero

Romero’s Dead Trilogy

I’m of course talking about NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968), DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978), and DAY OF THE DEAD (1985). Not only are these films the standard by which all other zombie films are measured, they also kick some serious ass. They are well-written, well-executed, well-acted, and DAWN and DAY have some of the best gore around. I’m limiting this franchise to the first three films because, let’s face it, the other three Romero zombie flicks are pretty uneven. Oh let’s be honest, 2005s LAND OF THE DEAD sucked out loud!!

Franchise Hellraiser

Hellraiser Trilogy

Once again, I’m limiting this franchise to the first three films (it’s my list and I’ll do whatever I want). HELLRAISER (1987) is a groundbreaking film. Nothing like it was seen before. The first film also proved that Clive Barker is more than just a master of the written word. HELLBOUND: HELLRAISER II (1988) is darker, gorier, and further explores the world and mythology of Pinhead and his cohorts. HELLRAISER III: HELL ON EARTH (1992) has its flaws, but is overall a pretty damn strong movie that introduces a few new cenobites.

Franchise Friday2

Friday the 13th Films

Say what you will about this franchise, but I’ll take this one over the NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET franchise any day. Jason is a stone-cold killer with no stupid one-liners, and after all the films in the series, Jason still manages to be scary. The first four films in the franchise are the best, but I watch all of them every time we get a FRIDAY THE 13TH calendar day.

Franchise Alien

The Alien Films

This is another solid franchise, but to make it a great horror series, I’m removing ALIENS (1986) from the rotation. ALIENS is a fun action flick, but it most definitely is not a horror film. The original ALIEN (1979), ALIEN 3 (1992), and ALIENS: RESURRECTION (1997) kick some major ass, though.

Franchise Evil Dead

The Evil Dead Trilogy

Another classic franchise that is hugely entertaining, gory, and scary. I admit that I’m not as big a fan of ARMY OF DARKNESS (1992) as most fans (it is way to campy with not enough gore for me), it’s still a terrific trilogy.

Franchise Tremors

The Tremors Franchise

Did you know that there’s four TREMORS films, with a fifth one coming out later in 2015? I just recently showed the first two to my kids (ages ten and seven) and they love them. Watching the Graboids snatch and eat up the cast is so much fun. I also love how the writers evolve the creatures in the sequels. They walk on land in TREMORS II: AFTERSHOCKS (1996) and they fly in TREMORS 3: BACK TO PERFECTION (2001). I can’t wait to see what they do in part five!!

Franchise Wrong Turn

The Wrong Turn Films

This franchise may never win any awards, but it’s one of my guilty pleasure franchises (along with FINAL DESTINATION, see below). I wasn’t really a fan of the original WRONG TURN (2003), but since that film, the filmmakers have settled into a pattern of creating some of the goriest and craziest horror films out there. If you’re looking for logic, solid stories, and character development, look elsewhere. If you want to see hot girls split in two, people torn apart, and other grizzly sights, then this franchise is for you. There are currently six film in the franchise and I don’t see an end in sight.

HATCHET III / Director BJ McDonnell / Photo: Skip Bolen
HATCHET III / Director BJ McDonnell / Photo: Skip Bolen

The Hatchet Trilogy

Thank you Adam Green for going back to the basics!! At the end of the day, the HATCHET trilogy is simply a slasher killing characters in the swamp. Victor Crowley became an instant horror icon for the new generation. What makes this trilogy so much fun are all the great practical effects, a great killer, and tons of genre cameos. Even more, though, is writer-director Adam Green. You can tell from watching his films that this man loves the horror genre. This franchise is both a throwback to the classic slasher films of the 1980s, and is Green’s love letter to the genre.

NYT2010070721093144C
NYT2010070721093144C

The [REC] Franchise

This franchise admittedly has its ups and downs but is overall a tremendously fun and gory franchise. Are you sick and tired of the found footage-style movies? Well, you obviously haven’t seen any of the [REC] films. [REC] (2007) and [REC] 2 (2009) are so damn good that as soon as they end you’ll immediately want to watch them over again (I did). [REC] 2 is no doubt the best film in the series, but all the films in the franchise have over the top gore and fun stories.

Franchise Final Destination

Final Destination Franchise

This is my other guilty pleasure franchise on my list. Let’s face it, every sequel has been a remake of the first FINAL DESTINATION (2000). What makes these films so damn fun, though, are the opening sequence, that always involves some kind of horrendous accident, and all the inventive deaths throughout the films. The filmmakers here don’t pull any punches either… most of the death scenes are gory and explicit.

Franchise Saw

The Saw Trilogy

You knew this was going to pop up on my list!! Ultimately I enjoyed all the films in this franchise, but I thought the first three were the strongest. Some of the later films felt rushed and didn’t do it for me. The first three films, though, are pretty damn amazing with great stories and great gore.

So, what’s your favorite horror franchises? Let me know in the comments section below.

Stay Bloody!!!

Franchise Friday1

Anything Horror Scott’s Favorite Ass-Kicking Females

The days of the timid, “I’m-too-scared-to-do-anything” female characters in horror films is over. There’s nothing I hate more than when a filmmaker writes a female role in which she’s only there to either be saved by a male character or to die. We all know women are tougher and stronger than that. I’ve seen plenty of women keep their shit together in a crisis a lot better than a man!!

Below is my list of female characters in horror movies who kick some serious ass. They may not be the lead role in the film, they may not even be the “good guy,” and they may not even live, but these are female characters who are strong and fierce. You will notice that Ripley from the ALIEN franchise and Alice from the RESIDENT EVIL franchise are absent from my list. They are too obvious of choices!!

Who are your choices for some ass-kicking female characters in horror films? Who did I miss? Is there someone on my list that you don’t think belongs? Sound off below!!

Female High Tension

Marie in HIGH TENSION (2003)

Arguably the film that launched the modern new wave of hardcore, brutal horror films. Writer-director Alexandre Aja gives us a home invasion film that becomes a road rage flick with plenty of gore and violence along the way. Marie is a fierce woman who doesn’t back down even in the face of pure terror. She is determined to fight to her last dying breathe if need be in order to protect her kidnapped friend. Yeah yeah yeah, I know the ending didn’t work for most people, but what a ride this film is!!

Female Descent

Sarah in THE DESCENT (2005)

How could I leave Sarah (Shauna Macdonald) off my list? THE DESCENT has the distinction of having an all-female cast, and even though I singled out Sarah, really the entire cast of women kick ass. There’s something about Sarah that edges her out as the best ass-kicker of the group. Writer-director Neil Marshall gives us a morally ambiguous lead character with Sarah. There are times you root for her and other times when you want to see those bat-like creatures tear her apart. But despite how you feel about Sarah, there’s no denying that she kicks some major ass.

Female Night

Barbara in NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1990)

Tom Savini, who directed the 1990 remake of Romero’s classic film, did a lot of things right in the remake. The main thing he got right was the re-writing of the character of Barbara (Patricia Tallman). Barbara starts off the film just like the original Barbara from the 1968 film, but eventually Barbara snaps out of her panic and decides she wants to fight, and she’s not going to rely on the men to protect her. She becomes the fiercest ass-kicker in the film. Nice work, Tom!!

Female Inside

La Femme in INSIDE (2007)

Known only as “The Woman,” Béatrice Dalle’s performance as the completely psychotic, yet extremely focused, killer is nothing short of chilling and brutal. She only says a handful of words the entire film, yet she is one of the most terrifying modern-day killers you will find. That scissor scene will leave you breathless. Leave it to the French.

Female Martyrs

Anna in MARTYRS (2008)

Anna (Morjana Alaoui) is one of the best female characters I’ve seen written and acted in over a decade. Hell, she might be the strongest female character to ever be in a movie, period. Anna is not the typical female heroine who beats down the bad guys. Anna gets seriously fucked up in this film!! She endures various levels of suffering, each stage more brutal than the one before it, in order to reach the state of martyrdom. This, though, isn’t just torture-porn. Director Laugier gives us one of the best films this reviewer has ever seen. At the end of the day, Anna is a survivor. Through all of her suffering she becomes more knowledgeable than when she started. Alaoui is absolutely amazing in the role and I can’t imagine the nightmares she had after filming this one.

Female Babadook

Amelia in THE BABADOOK (2014)

Amelia (Essie Davis) isn’t battling ghosts or demons or a psychopathic killer. She’s battling herself and mental illness in this fantastic film. Amelia is a single mother with a difficult child who is overly tired, sick, and long overdue for a vacation. But she’s on this list because she’s a fighter who doesn’t give up even when it would have be so easy to do so. In the end, she beats down the “creature,” but what makes her such a bad ass is that every day for the rest of her life Amelia is going to have to battle the same “creature” in order to make sure it stays chained up where it belongs.

Female Hell Fire

Rosetta in HELL FIRE (2012)

I’ll be honest. After watching this film and Selene Beretta’s performance as Rosetta, I instantly fell in love. Rosetta is gorgeous, has a filthy mouth, and is the most violent character, male or female, I’ve seen in a long time. Rosetta is most definitely not the “good guy” in this film. In fact, I don’t think there is a good character in this entire flick!! But damn if Rosetta doesn’t kick some serious ass.

Female I Spit on Grave

Jennifer in I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE (2010)

This is a perfect case where the remake is better than the original. Waaaay better. Director Steven R. Monroe does a fantastic job with this remake. He keeps all the elements that made the original so eye-squintingly good and doesn’t pull any punches on either the rape or the revenge scenes. Jennifer (Sarah Butler) gives one helluva performance as the stranger in a strange land who is brutalized and then calculates her revenge. Not taking anything away from the original Jennifer (Camille Keaton), there’s just a raw kind of power and presence that Sarah Butler brought to her Jennifer that wasn’t in the original. And that ending, yikes!!

Female Broken

Hope in BROKEN (2006)

Talk about a nihilistic film that doesn’t so much as offer one ray of hope!! I went into BROKEN expecting just another torture porn film, but got so much more. Hope (Nadja Brand) comes home from a date, kisses her young daughter, and then goes to bed. She wakes up in the middle of the woods with a psychopath tormenting her and making her survive forty days of sadistic games. The whole time Hope knows the man also took her daughter, but has no idea what he’s done or is doing to her. The ending will make you want to drag a razor blade across your wrists!! Actress Nadja Brand is fantastic in the lead as a woman who will do anything to save her child … and ‘anything’ she does. A brutal movie with a strong, fierce female lead.

Female Bad Biology

Jennifer in BAD BIOLOGY (2008)

Relative newcomer Charlee Danielson plays the lead role as a woman with seven clits trying to find true love in this Frank Henenlotter flick. Danielson is amazing in this role. Sure, she kills some of her lovers in the throes of passion, but her character isn’t black or white. Jennifer isn’t good and she’s not evil. She’s just a woman trying to live with her condition as she attempts to find a suitable partner. Danielson plays the role brilliantly with the perfect blend of innocence and raw sexuality.

Female Videodrome

Nicki Brand in VIDEODROME (1983)

Deborah Harry comes off as a kind of Black Widow in this film. She’s smart, sexy, always looking for a little kink, and is fearless. Her bad ass-ness doesn’t come from beating the shit out of others, she’s a bad ass because she watches a real snuff film and decides she wants to be in the next episode!! Her Nicki Brand character to James Woods’ Max Renn has to be one of the most dysfunctional, anti-love affairs in modern cinema. When Brand turns to Renn and asks him, “Wanna try a few things,” it’ll send shivers up and down your spine.

Female Grace

Madeline in GRACE (2009)

Jordan Ladd’s portrayal of Madeline is nothing short of brilliant. Like Nicki Brand above, Madeline isn’t out there kicking the sacks off of douchy guys. Madeline’s strength comes from her situation. She loses her unborn child and husband in the last month of her pregnancy. Her grief is so great and her love so strong that she wills her dead baby back to life. The scene in the tub with Jordan Ladd holding her dead baby is one of the most powerful scenes you’ll find in any horror film. Madeline is one tough cookie!!

Sign off below in the comments section and tell me who your favorite ass-kicking females characters are.

Stay Bloody!!!

16 Gory Death Scenes (and One Honorable Mention)

I always get nostalgic around Halloween time and think about all the fantastic, gory genre films I’ve seen over the course of my 40 years.  Well this year is no different except that I started thinking about the GREATEST death scenes I’ve seen.  My mind was flooded with thousands of grotesque and disturbing images (I should really see someone about that).  So after I sorted through what I consider the best of the best, I compiled my list.  Whenever possible I posted a video of said death scene, but for some I had to settle for pictures.  In some cases (like the MASKHEAD entry below) you’ll see that I couldn’t find either the video or the pic of the scene.  Why?  Because it’s so fucked up and disturbing that no one dares put it up on the internet!!

Enjoy the list (these are in no particular order), and I wanna hear what you favorite horror death scenes are.

Stay Bloody!!!

1.  Intestinal Vomit Scene (CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD)

You’re guaranteed one thing in every Fulci horror flick:  There’s at least 3-4 extremely violent death scenes.  After thinking about all his great offerings I settled on this one.  From the 1st time I saw this scene it was burned in my mind forever.  Viva l’ Fulci!!

2.  Lawn Mower Scene (DEAD ALIVE)

Again; tons of great death scenes in this flick.  But when Lionel Cosgrove picks up the running lawn mower and hacks his way through the crowd of zombies, well I didn’t know whether to be horrified or laugh my ass off.  So I did both.

3.  Bed Puree Scene (A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, 1984)

Not just one of my favorite death scenes, but the best death scene in any ELM STREET flick.  When ole Johnny Depp closes his eyes I bet he never knew what awaited him!!

4.  Silver Sphere Chops Up Priest (PHANTASM 2)

Another great flick that has a high solid body count, great story, and great gore.  I’m surprised we haven’t seen some version of the silver sphere on late night TV that can do everything from crush ice to make salsa (sorry for the watermark right in the middle of the following video).

5.  Helicopter Haircut (DAWN OF THE DEAD, 1978)

Lots of great gore in the original DAWN, but the zombie standing on the boxes getting the top of his head sliced off is just a classic.

6.  Captain Rhodes Torn Apart (DAY OF THE DEAD, 1985)

Let’s face it; Captain Rhodes is not a nice man.  Ok, ok; he’s a fucking prick asshole and we all know what happens to the “prick asshole” in zombie films … they die horribly.  Well Rhodes is no exception.  But even in death this douche bag needs to get the final words in (“Choke on ‘em”).  He died as he lived … a total asshole.

7.  Death by 2×4 Strap-On Dildo (MASKHEAD)

If you don’t understand what this scene is about, then break down the above title.  A woman dies by getting railed with a strap-on made out of a 2×4 wooden board.  As you’ll notice I couldn’t find a video or picture of the death scene.  That’s probably a good thing.  No one needs to see that (except me of course).

You’re better off not seeing the actual picture here; trust me!!

8.  Sissors Scene (INSIDE)

Possibly the most intense, brutal, never-lets-up horror film in that last 2 decades!!  The blood starts flowing almost from the 1st frame and doesn’t let up until Le Femme gets what she wants …. by using a pair of scissors.  And I’m sure you all know what she’s after.  Again I couldn’t find a picture or video showing this event.  Go buy this very important and amazing horror flick if you haven’t already.

Le Femme is 1 crazy bitch who gets what she wants!!

9.  Opening Beach and Hospital Scene (DEAD & BURIED)

Not only does this have a great twist at the end that works; not only does this have Robert Englund in it; not only does this have a ton of graphic death scenes in it … but it have a particularly nasty opening scene where a visitor comes to Plotter’s Bluff.  He meets a sexy lil vixen on the beach and then gets the stuffing beat out of him and beat with crowbars and shovels.  THEN he’s tied up, dosed in gasoline, and then lit on fire.  But the poor bastard lives only to have burns on like 98% of his body.  And guess who his nurse is in the hospital?  Yup; the vixen from the beach.  Here’s looking at you kid.

10.  Human Beef Jerky Scene (TRAILER PARK OF TERROR)

This was a really fun horror flick with great makeup and special f/x, a great story, and a great overall feel.  Then suddenly we get to this scene where one of the locals demonstrates how he makes beef jerky … using another human being.  The scene was way more brutal and nasty and disturbing than anything else in the flick, and that’s why it’s stuck in my head and made this list.  Sorry no video, but see this flick; it’s worth your time.

11.  Wire Tether (Ghost Ship)

I know, I know.  What the fuck is this flick doing on my list?  Now come on; we all know the movie as a whole really fucking blows … I mean it sucks out loud.  Its so shitty that I’m surprised Janeane Garofalo wasn’t in it!!  But let’s face it; the scene with the wire cutting through a crowded dance floor was worth sitting through this steaming pile (and let’s not forget about the implied forced pedophilia).  It’s a shame the rest of the movie didn’t keep up the energy from this scene.

12.  Splinter in the Eye (ZOMBI)

I don’t think this scene needs any explanation.  This is Fulci’s 2nd showing on this list and we all know why!!

13.  Blood Pressure Test Scene (DAWN OF THE DEAD, 1978)

Perhaps the dumbest death scene on this list but I absolutely love it.  In the midst of a horde of flesh eating, hungry zombies attacking, Pedro decides to sit down and check his blood pressure.  It’s so random and ridiculous that this scene has always stuck in my mind.  If you wanna fast forward, the “blood pressure test” starts at the 2:47 mark on this clip.

14.  Head Exploding Scene (SCANNERS)

Again; I’m sure this one needs no introduction.  Enjoy.

15.  Open Wide Scene (HATCHET)

When I first saw this scene (hell, the entire movie) my jaw dropped and I knew immediately that I had found a modern day classic and a huge genre talent in Adam Green.  Aahhh Victor Crowley … may your blood lust never die down.

16.  Cheeky Face-Off Scene (LAID TO REST)

This is another modern day classic film that spawned another huge genre talent (Robert Hall).  Lots of great gory death scenes, but this one is my favorite from this flick, and one of my all time favs PERIOD.

SPECIAL MENTION:  Skinned Alive Scene (MARTYRS)

This, as you all know, is my favorite horror film from the past 20 years.  Easily.  The scene where Anna is strapped into the contraption and flipped over is just a brutal scene.  We’re still not sure what’s gonna happen.  Then the guy sticks the knife into her and we see her gasp in pain.  We watch as he slices up her back.  The look on Anna’s face is one of both pure pain and shock from that pain.  Mercifully the scene fades.

I get chills just looking at this picture!!
I get chills just looking at this picture!!

This gets a “special mention” because Anna, even after being skinned alive, DOESN’T FUCKING DIE.  That’s right; she lives after BEING SKINNED ALIVE.  Oh my fucking god.  And because this list is about the greatest DEATH scenes, Anna doesn’t technically qualify.  Below is a montage of gore scenes from MARTYRS.  If you wanna skip to the “skinned alive” scene, go to the 6:48 mark.

Extra Bonus:  DAY OF THE DEAD Outtake:

I don’t remember this scene happening exactly like this!!