It's in the Blood Now Available on Amazon & iTunes!!

Hopefully by now you all know that I take my horror movies pretty seriously.  Sure I love the occasional horror-comedy as much as the next guy, but when it comes to the scares, I get downright serious.  If you remember, the first film I screened at the 2012 Texas Frightmare Weekend was IT’S IN THE BLOOD (my review here), starring  Lance Henriksen and Sean Elliot (Elliot also co-wrote the story with director Scooter Downey).  Not only was this one of the best films screened that weekend, but IT’S IN THE BLOOD is also one of the best films I’ve seen all year.  No shit!!  The story, acting, atmosphere, …. everything is just absolutely perfect and all these elements create one helluva strong film (plus you get to hear Lance Henriksen have an ‘orgasm’).

Well I just got an email from the filmmakers (Scooter Downey and Sean Elliot) letting me know that IT’S IN THE BLOOD is finally becoming available to a wider audience.  IT’S IN THE BLOOD is now available on both iTunes and Amazon (click on the links to take you there).  Trust me everyone, this is a film you don’t wanna miss.  Genre fans are always talking about how sick to death they are of remakes and want something new.  Well here’s your opportunity to experience an original genre film that’s not paying homage to another film, isn’t a remake, and isn’t a ‘re-imaging.’

Go out there and see this film … you’re gonna thank me.  If you still don’t believe me, check out my spoiler-free review.  Let me kow what you think of it. Dig on the trailer for now:

Stay Bloody!!!

Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (2011)

When the tag line of a horror film reads, “Heaven is for everyone. Except you,” you know you’re dealing with something not meant to be taken too seriously. BLOODY BLOODY BIBLE CAMP is a slasher-throwback to the heyday of the slasher film, and director Vito Trabucco (who also wrote the script along with Shelby McIntyre and Reggie Bannister) hits all the right notes. BLOODY BLOODY BIBLE CAMP ends up being a ridiculously plotted, silly acted, and downright crazy slasher flick that’s also a lot of fun. I screened this at 2012’s Texas Frightmare Weekend and caught this at midnight with a room full of drunk horror fans (I wish every horror film I watched came with a room full of drunk genre fans!!). So of course the overall experience was fun as hell, but what if you’re watching this alone, at noon, and you’re as sober as a Muslim? Would you still have fun with this one? Let’s find out.

You’ll be begging to say rosaries with this nun!!

BLOODY BLOODY BIBLE CAMP begins in 1977 when a Christian group is enjoying a weekend up in the woods at the Happy Day Bible Camp. These aren’t a particularly pious group of Christians and there’s a lot of boozing, carrying on, and sex. Then without warning a psychotic, mask-wearing nun comes outta nowhere and starts hacking up the filthy sinners, but not before we get a healthy dose of boobage, sex, and a late-1970’s pie shot so bushy that it looks like the chick had Buckwheat in a scissors lock!! Strong opening that had the screening room yelping and clapping. Now it’s seven years later and the camp’s been closed, but Father Richard Cummings (horror icon, Reggie Bannister) is looking to buy the camp due to its sale price being so cheap. Cummings brings with him a few of the church’s ‘good’ members with the intention of some good old wholesome fun: Hiking, swimming, singing songs around the campfire … shit like that. But the campers have other things in mind like sneaking some booze and weed and fornicating like three-peckered billy goats!!

Whatever happened to nun’s using yard sticks??

Along for the weekend are Bother Zeke (Jay Fields); who’s Father Cummings’ right hand man and is hornier than the teens; Tad (Matthew Aidan), who seems to be borderline gay; Brittany (Jessica Sonneborn), an innocent, bimbo-ish flower who has no idea how crazy hot she is (seriously; Sonneborn was present for the screening and she really is crazy sexy); Jennifer (Deborah Venegas); the tough, street-smart girl; Dwayne (Jeff Dylan Graham); Millie (Ivet Corvea), who’s there to help Father Cummings chaperone; and Timmy (Christopher Raff), a slow kid who’s good at heart and couldn’t harm a fly. Also joining in on the fun is real life bat-shit crazy director Tim Sullivan (2001 MANIACS, 2001 MANIACS: FIELD OF SCREAMS, CHILLERAMA) who plays Eugene, the doom and gloom, intense character who tries to warn our group not to head up to the camp. Sure we get the typical characters here … that’s kinda the point. Director Trabucco makes no qualms or gives no apologies about BLOODY BLOODY BIBLE CAMP being an homage to 80s-slasher flicks. Trabucco was also present for the screening and told us afterwards that he was looking to make an old-school style slasher but wanted to have a unique setting. Then one day driving in his car the title, BLOODY BLOODY BIBLE CAMP entered his head and the rest is history.

horror icon, Reggie Bannister!!

The plot unfolds exactly as you expect it to as the campers frolic around, get into trouble, and have sex. But little do they know, Sister Mary Chopper is still out there ready to punish the sinful and eradicate the horny campers. BLOODY BLOODY BIBLE CAMP was made for one reason: For a fun time. Nothing should be taken seriously here. The film is full of homosexual and anti-religious jokes, jokes about abortions, and jokes about mincing, boy-crazy priests, the hypocrisy of the church, and the out of date view the church has about women. But don’t worry; this isn’t a “preachy” horror movie … not by a long shot. Trabucco keeps everything moving at a nice pace and puts in a lot of skin for us. Sonneborn has an extremely long nude scene where she’s standing in front of an open window while the others are openly ogling her (she’s oblivious). This scene and the scene where she’s catching some sun in her bikini are alone worth the price of admission!!

Now ya know what it’s been like for all those poor girls in your films, Ron!!

Who the killer is won’t really come as a surprise and it seems the killer’s back story was kind of an afterthought. But again, the point of BLOODY BLOODY BIBLE CAMP is to take you back to the slasher films of two decades ago, and it does just that. The acting is very over-the-top, but everyone does a nice job. Reggie Bannister steals the show as Father Cummings and has some really funny lines. And any film that casts porn legend Ron Jeremy as Jesus gets my seal of approval!! The killing scenes are also a lot of fun as we get to see Sister Mary Chopper slice, dice, and puree her way through the cast. And you’ll never look at anal sex in quite the same way again!!

BLOODY BLOODY BIBLE CAMP will never win any awards and it won’t be everyone’s cup of moonshine. But the film is what it is, and I found it to be a lot of fucking fun no matter where you see it. This is a film destined to be a cult classic!! Check out BLOODY BLOODY BIBLE CAMP … and say your prayers Sister Mary Chopper never finds out what a filthy little sinner you are!!

My Summary:

meet Sister Mary Chopper … she’ll be sending you to Hell now!!

Director: Vito Trabucco

Plot: 4 out of 5 stars

Gore: 6 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem: 0 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer from the Texas Frightmare Weekend 2012

6 Short Horror Films: Texas Frightmare Weekend 2012

Saturday afternoon at this year’s Texas Frightmare Weekend there was a screening of six short horror films (there was supposed to be seven, but we’ll get to this below).  Whoever chose the shorts did a nice job of gathering up some diverse films.  There’s an experimental flick, a horror-comedy, two that take place in an abandoned warehouse, and two very different sci-fi themed shorts.

The first one screened was KLAGGER (2012; 12mins).  This is one of the shorts that takes place in an abandoned warehouse.  This is the story of Perry (Matthew Aycock), a worker who’s job is going into abandoned warehouses in order to see what can be salvaged.  This particular warehouse had a horrible accident occur that shut it down.  The accident was so horrendous that the spirit of the man killed still haunts the warehouse.  Written and directed by Casey Crow, KLAGGER’s story isn’t anything you haven’t seen before, but Crow’s filming style is what makes this one worth your time.  The cinematography, by Anthony Gutierrez, is beautiful and I love the choice of colors used.  The film has a kind of yellow-reddish hue to it that helps increase the tension.  Crow and Gutierrez create some beautiful shots and do a nice job developing cut-with-a-knife tension before the titular spirit appears.

The next two shorts, DOLL BOY (2010; 27mins) and THE CODE (2011; 6mins) I had seen before.  DOLL BOY, simply put, is a great fucking short (my review)!!  Bloody Billy Pon really delivered a fast-paced, creepy, nightmarish, and gory short about the titular character, living alone in an abandoned warehouse, being supplied human beings to “play with.”  I can’t say enough good things about this short!!  THE CODE is the horror-comedy in the group and director Mark Blitch understands the material enough to know that anything over 6 minutes would’ve felt stretched and played out.  The story is about two lovers getting romantic during a midnight picnic when they’re ambushed by zombies … and a serial killer … and Bigfoot.  Uh oh; someone didn’t look at their Google Calendar!!  This one is really clever and has some genuinely funny moments.

The next film screened was perhaps the most interesting of the bunch, OTHER (2011; 15mins).  This is the story of Patrick (David Steiger), a doctor who discovers he has a very aggressive and deadly cancer growing inside himself and decides to bypass the conventional medical avenues and conducts his own research.  His research leads to a very radical new procedure that works in removing the cancer … but there are some brutal side effects.  Everything about this short is spot on.  Daniel DelPurgatorio, the director and co-writer (along with Rob Foster and Anthony R. Williams) crafted a tight, fast-paced story that grabs you from the first frame and keeps you glued to the screen.  There’s also some biting commentary on the current state of health care and the way pharmaceutical companies ‘run the show.’  Steiger gives a great performance as a man at the end of his rope desperately trying to save his life at any cost.  OTHER is DelPurgatorio’s debut live action short, and I’m willing to bet we’re gonna see a lot more from him in the future.

Next up was FALLOW (2009; 14mins).  FALLOW (written and directed by Dave Alexander and Colin Landry) explores the delicate balance between Man and Nature and what happens when that balance is corrupted.  All across a small farming community, baby calves are being stillborn with barbed wire threaded throughout their bodies.  This is the catalyst of bad things to come after a sacred pact established centuries ago with a presence in the soil has been broken.  FALLOW has a decent enough story to it but lacks a certain punch that all the other shorts have.  The plot unfolds in a predictable way and doesn’t throw anything unusual or ‘twisty’ at us.  Technically, the film also offers nothing too exciting.  This isn’t a bad short, but compared to it’s fellow shorts screened, it fails to really grab you.

The final horror short screened was ENDLESS (2011; 9mins), an experimental film about a man (Chris Geere) being attacked in a bathroom by what seems to be some kind of supernatural creatures (Katy Gannon, Jenna Harrison, and Martina McClements).  This nine minute short details the attack (which takes place in about 30 seconds) in slow motion and at times, super slow motion.  Writer-director Matt Bloom captures and creates some really beautiful and horrifying shots and even gets in an homage to Lucio Fulci!  ENDLESS isn’t about the story itself and never attempts to answer questions like who the creatures are, who the man is, why these things are attacking him, etc …  ENDLESS is about the attack itself and seeing it from different perspectives and angles.  Very creative and fun.

The most disappointing part of the screening was that the program mentioned that there was going to be seven shorts screened.  The last one was supposed to be FAMILIAR (2012; 24mins), written and directed by Richard Powell.  This one should ring a bell with you because I watched and reviewed FAMILIAR back in January of this year (my review) and absolutely loved and raved about it.  But after the sixth short was screened the the Texas Frightmare Weekend 2012, the lights came up and that was it.  No FAMILIAR.  I was really looking forward to seeing this one on the big screen and seeing the reactions of my fellow horror lovers as they watched the climax of the film.  So what happened TFW??

All in all, whoever selected the horror shorts to screen did a really nice job of giving a cross-section of what the horror genre has to offer.  They were all well made and well acted with a few flaws here and there.  But my question remains … what happened to FAMILIAR??

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer from the Texas Frightmare Weekend 2012

Father’s Day (2011)

What is it with Canada’s love affair with the good old exploitation/grindhouse flicks of yesteryear? Don’t get me wrong; I’m not condemning our friends to the North. I think you all know me well enough by now that I absolutely adore the grindhouse genre that sprung up in New York City’s 42nd Street district. Sleazy theaters showing excessively gory, violent films with little plot, lots of nudity, and subject matter that would make Quentin Tarantino himself blush. Last year we saw Jason Eisener’s homage to this sub-genre in the form of HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN. This started off as a trailer he submitted in to a contest being held around the time Rodriguez and Tarantino’s GRINDHOUSE was released. Eisener won, obviously, and this ultimately led to him making a full length feature based on that winning trailer. The boys behind FATHER’S DAY had a similar start. This film started as a faux-trailer which they submitted to Troma Films, and much to their surprise they got word back that Troma was offering them $10,000 to turn the faux-trailer into a feature film. So here we are.

Ahab (Adam Brooks), sporting the grind house eye-patch.

How to describe FATHER’S DAY … wow. The city, and specifically fathers, are being terrorized by serial killer-anal rapist-cannibal, Chris Fuchman (Mackenzie Murdock). Ahab (Adam Brooks), whose father was a victim of this ass-fucking maniac, track Fuchman down and kills him … or so he thinks. But years later it seems Fuchman is back, and more rapey and cannibally than ever. Fuchman rapes and kills a young street hustler, Twink’s (Conor Sweeney), dad. So Twink teams up with Ahab (after tracking him down and enticing him to end his self-imposed banishment and retirement) to track down and find out if indeed Fuchman is back or if a copycat killer has taken his place. To make things even more odd, Twink and Ahab are joined by a priest, Father John Sullivan (Matthew Kennedy). Just so you know, I’m making this sound way more coherent than what’s up on screen. Just like the good old grindhouse films of the 1970’s and 80’s, the plot is just a vehicle and excuse for some excessive violence, mayhem, lots of nudity, and lots of anal rape scenes. Lots.

Oh yeah; just try and un-see this image!!

If you need it spelled out for ya, nothing, and I mean nothing, in FATHER’S DAY is meant to be taken seriously. This plays out like both an homage and a spoof/satire of the grindhouse sub-genre. FATHER’S DAY is written and directed by Astron-6, a collective of five guys who are bat-shit crazy and love making films. Astron-6 is Adam Brooks (who plays Ahab), Jeremy Gillespie, Matthew Kennedy (who plays Father Sullivan), Steven Kostanski, and Conor Sweeney (who plays Twink). The best way to describe the tone of FATHER’S DAY is to appeal to those of you who saw HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN: Eisener wrote HOBO to be an authentic grindhouse flick. The humor found in HOBO was black humor that was an organic part of the story. The way it was done, the viewer felt almost uncomfortable laughing at some of the ‘humor.’ Example; when the guys went on the school bus full of kids with the flamethrower, I was laughing hysterically while my wife and the other few females around me were looking at me as if I were Stalin with a swastika carved in my forehead. FATHER’S DAY, on the other hand, was written more like a traditional Troma film. The entire film is absurd and filled with gross out humor that is kind of poking fun at the entire grindhouse sub-genre. This isn’t a criticism, per se, but if you’re looking for another HOBO-style film you may be disappointed. HOBO had more clever and, yes, sophisticated writing behind it while FATHER’S DAY was approached as more of a comedy set in the grindhouse universe.

Our ‘heroes’ (yes; that’s a guy in the red dress).

FATHER’S DAY goes straight for the juggler but wants to have a frat party beer-kegger as that juggler drains out. Watching this with a room full of horror fans at the Texas Frightmare Weekend 2012 heightened this experience. There are scenes that are straight up ‘laugh out loud’ as well enough graphic dismemberment, anal rape, and cock ripping scenes to leave you wide mouthed and wondering, “Did that just happen?” The acting is good all-around with Adam Brooks’ Ahab and Conor Sweeney’s Twink stealing the show. These two, as well as the entire cast, look like they’re having a blast and that on-screen attitude becomes infectious. FATHER’S DAY is just a really fun, offensive, bat-shit crazy film that you’re either gonna love or hate. The one element that Astron-6 did fail on was the length of the film. Even with only a 99 minute run time, FATHER’S DAY felt like it dragged on about 20-25 minutes too long. Tightening up some of the scenes and re-working the ending that takes place in Hell (yes; in HELL) would’ve made the film flow a little smoother. As it is, FATHER’S DAY over-extends its welcome a bit.

This is EXACTLY what it looks like!!

FATHER’S DAY is one of those polarizing films that you’ll either love or hate. If you love films like THE TOXIC AVENGER, CLASS OF NUKE ‘EM HIGH, and TERROR FIRMER, then you’re gonna love FATHER’S DAY. If you’re down with bizarre plots full of gratuitous nudity (titties, ass, and cock), excessive violence, loads of gore, and some genuine laugh out loud moments, then this is the film for you. But love it or hate it, FATHER’S DAY will leave an impression on you (and will leave you with an aching feeling in your loins). Most of all, though, you’ll never be able to look at your father the same way again on Father’s Day!!

My Summary:

Directors: Astron-6 (& writers)

Plot: 3 out of 5 stars

Gore: 8 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem: 0 out of 5 brains

Father-Raping Cannibals: 5 out of 5 prostate jabs

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer at the Texas Frightmare Weekend 2012

I couldn’t pass up on this image!!

Jacob (2011)

Here’s a film I’ve been waiting to see since I first heard about it at the 2011 Texas Frightmare Weekend. So when I saw JACOB made the line-up of screeners at this year’s TFW, it pretty much shot to the top of my “must-see” list. JACOB is written, directed, and stars Larry Wade Carrell, a Texas indie horror filmmaker who is part of what I like to call the Dallas-Austin horror connection. This is a group of really talented horror filmmakers, actors, f/x artists, etc … who all help each other out and work on each other’s films. There’s no competitiveness or pettiness; it’s a bunch of talented people who love horror and who love making horror films, helping each other out. This time they all came together to support Larry Wade Carrell and JACOB.

JACOB is told from the present-day perspective of the sheriff, Billy (Carrell). The story that unfolds from his flashback is one of tragedy, domestic violence, murder, and bloody carnage. Jacob is the oldest son of Edith and Lawrence Kell (Krystn Caldwell and Michael Biehn, respectively). Even at a young age there was something obviously wrong with Jacob. Autism, a form of retardation, or something along those lines afflicted little Jacob. We first meet Jacob, though, in his early twenties and he’s a menacing looking guy who has pretty much retreated inside himself and only responds to his sister, Sissy (Grace Powell). Jacob loves his little sister and would never do her any harm … and god forbid if anyone else were to harm her!! We learn through flashbacks within the flashback that Jacob’s dad (Biehn) died in a very dramatic and violent fashion and now Otis (also played by Carrell) has stepped in as step dad to these kids. Only problem is Otis is a violent drunk who gets rather punchy after a few drinks. One night after a day-long binge, Otis kills Sissy and sets Jacob off on a long night of bloody, savage vengeance. Throw in a subplot about a cursed book that adds in an interesting supernatural element, and you’ve got yourself a story!!

Carrell’s, Otis is one despicable character!!

JACOB is, for sure, a slow burn movie. Carrell takes his time setting up the characters and setting the stage for the bloody and violent final act. Otis couldn’t be a more disgusting, despicable, and deplorable human being, beating his wife and always ready to raise a hand at his step kids. He’s out every day getting shit-faced, trying to pick up anything with two legs, a hole, and a heartbeat while his wife is busting her ass at the local diner. Carrell does a pretty nice job in the role of Otis. He plays Otis with a certain level of restraint and only occasionally lets the role get away from him. There’s a few times where Carrell’s Otis overacts, but in all he does a nice job.

Sissy (Grace Powell), is the light of Jacob’s dark world

Unfortunately some of the other cast members don’t fare as well. The mother, Edith (Caldwell), overacts most of her time on camera and comes across as one of the lesser experienced in the cast. She doesn’t always look comfortable on film and this comes through in her performance. On the other hand, Grace Powell (Sissy) does a nice job in her role as the younger sister of Jacob. This is her first feature-length film and she pulls off her role like a seasoned pro. Powell has an inherent innocence that shines through but also manages to convey a sense of strength beyond her years, not having led an easy life with an abusive step father and mentally crippled older brother.

Meet Jacob. Stay on his good side.

Carrell really shines with the way he developed the tension in JACOB. You know from the opening scenes that the story is going to end in violence and blood, and Carrell takes his time creating a tension-rich tone to get us there. The tension begins with the actions of one asshole step father and Carrell manipulates and increases the intensity of the tension as the film unfolds. The addition of the mysterious book, which ends up playing more than a marginal part in the motivations of some of the actors, could have come off gimmicky, but Carrell expertly handled this element. He didn’t over-explain it or drive it in the ground, but left it as one of the mysterious aspects in the film. This worked for me.

Once Jacob gets started, not even the cops themselves will stand in his way.

No doubt, though, the film gets really fun once Jacob goes on his killing spree. Carrell doesn’t leave too much to the imagination as we watch Jacob literally tear people apart, bury sharp objects in them, and in general go ‘medieval on their asses.’ The special f/x are really well done and will satisfy your blood lust that you’ve come to expect from the indie horror scene here in Texas.

JACOB is another film made by a collaborative of Texas filmmakers and actors who love horror films. Texas filmmakers like Stacy Davidson (director of SWEATSHOP, my review) and Jeremy Sumrall (director of POSSUM WALK) came together to help Carrell put his vision on film, and the passion Carrell has for filmmaking shines through. JACOB is a solid full-length feature debut that only suffers from a few pacing problems and some inconsistent acting. But people who love slow burn flicks with explosive endings will appreciate what Carrell does with the story here … and gore hounds will be rewarded as well. JACOB is worth checking out.

My Summary:

Director: Larry Wade Carrell (& writer & actor)

Plot: 3 out of 5 stars

Gore: 7.5 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem: 0 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer from the Texas Frightmare Weekend 2012

The Victim (2011)

THE VICTIM is the solo directorial debut from genre actor, Michael Biehn (in 2010 he co-directed THE BLOOD BOND with Anthony Szeto). I’ve posted a few articles about the progress of this film over the last year, and then suddenly it went silent. So I was pretty happy that THE VICTIM was being screened at this year’s Texas Frightmare Weekend and made a point to check it out. I’m glad I did for two reasons. First; it’s a fun film, and second; Michael Biehn, Jennifer Blanc, and Danielle Harris were all in attendance to watch the film with us and hold a Q & A after the screening (only Biehn and Blanc were there for the Q & A). It’s always nice to get the “inside scoop” from the director and leading actor/actress in a film. So let’s get to it.

THE VICTIM stars Michael Biehn as Kyle (a nod to his role in THE TERMINATOR), a self-imposed recluse who holes up in his uncle’s unused cabin in a very remote area in the woods. He’s there to get his life together and get over some trauma from his past (what this is is only hinted at in the early parts of the film). One night while he’s trying to get some work done, a frazzled and panicked girl, Annie (Jennifer Blanc), starts pounding on his door to let him in. He reluctantly does and she tells him she’s being chased by two guys who wanna kill her. Oh yeah; the two guys are cops. Oh yeah; and one of the cops is going to be the next sheriff of the county!! Don’t worry, I didn’t spoil anything. These facts come out very early in the film. Annie tells him that she and her roommate Mary (Danielle Harris) were partying with the two cops out in the woods when things got a little outta control. From this point the film twists and turns as it makes us question who is ‘good,’ who is ‘bad,’ and who is really the victim. You’ll find yourself putting every character in the film under a microscope as you try and figure out where everything is headed.

This has been a long night for Kyle (Michael Biehn)!!

Biehn, who also wrote the screenplay, does a really nice job keeping the tension high and the plot moving along at a nice pace. During the Q & A we find out that THE VICTIM was shot on a micro-budget and there were a lot of things Biehn wanted to do in the film, but he was limited by the budget. The first thing you’ll notice is that for the content, there’s a surprising lack of blood and gore. Again, this is attributed to the budget (Robert Hall’s Almost Human f/x company handles the effects). But the film doesn’t suffer from the lack of gore. Sure it would’ve been nice to have a gorier film, especially since this is Biehn’s homage to grindhouse flicks, but he manages to fill the story with a lot of exploitation elements that all work together. We get sex, drugs, corrupt cops, a serial killer, torture, and violence towards women. As Biehn told us after the screening, he tried to fit as many exploitive elements into the film as he could that wouldn’t cost a lot of money (i.e, no zombies or excessive gore). He seemed genuinely happy with the film and he should be. It’s a fast-paced throwback film with a solid plot and overall good acting.

Annie (Jennifer Blanc) running for her life.

Starring as the corrupt cops are Ryan Honey as Harrison (the future sheriff) and Denny Kirkwood as Cooger (a narcotics cop). Both did solid jobs but Honey was the one actor who seemed to get a little over-the-top at times. In his defense, though, his character was the most complex one in the film. Harrison is essentially a wolf in sheep’s clothing; a sociopath who somehow got on the right career path. There are times, though, when his acting seems to get away from him and he over does it. He also has a really distracting, cheesy, 1970’s mustache that was a nice touch. It made him seem all the more crazy and it also situated THE VICTIM nicely in the grindhouse-era.

Things get a little tense here!!

Biehn and cinematographer Eric Curtis do a nice job capturing some really nice scenes. Biehn told us that he utilized a “Day for Night” technique where all the night shots were filmed during the day time. This is a method he picked up from Xavier Gens, who used this technique in his film FRONTIERE(S). Biehn picked Gens’ brain about this technique when he starred in Gens’ film, THE DIVIDE. It was a nice choice because Biehn captured some very cool scenes and shots with creepy looking shadows and managed to make the ‘dark’ seem like a menacing character itself. At the screening the film played a little darker than Biehn would’ve liked (not a problem with the film itself but with the equipment and screen it was shown on) and let us know that on the right screen THE VICTIM plays a little “lighter.”

I’m pretty sure Annie was going for Harrison’s mustache!!

THE VICTIM is overall a solid film that will grab you from the opening shot. Biehn nicely builds up the tension throughout the film and delivers an explosive conclusion. There are times when watching where you’ll say to yourself, “This scene would’ve been even better with more gore,” but this lack of over-the-top gore doesn’t hurt the overall experience of the film as it is. At the end of the day, THE VICTIM is a fun and intense exploitation film that’s an homage to the grindhouse films of yesteryear. This is a solid directorial debut and I’m looking forward to seeing what Biehn comes up with next.

My Summary:

Director: Michael Biehn (& screenwriter)

Plot: 3 out of 5 stars

Gore: 2 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem: 0 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer at the Texas Frightmare Weekend 2012

Huff (2012)

Here’s one that really surprised me. I hadn’t heard anything about this one until the final screening schedule came out for the 2012 Texas Frightmare Weekend line up. Besides the basic plot, HUFF was described as a modern day retelling of the Three Little Pigs. Hhmmm. Okay. Sounds gimmicky; very gimmicky. Boy was I wrong. HUFF doesn’t rely on the Three Little Pigs as a gimmick, but incorporates the structure of that classic story into its plot. What we end up with is something extremely intense and brutal. The Three Little Pigs actually gave HUFF a richer subtext and a deeper layer in both its meaning and impact.

HUFF is the story of a very dysfunctional family. Lorelei (Elina Madison) is a single mother of three daughters who hooks up with who she thinks is gonna be her Knight in Shining Armor, Huff (Charlie O’Connell). It turns out that Huff is a violent, sociopathic pedophile whose main source of income is drug running and trading. Always sitting around the house waiting for his ‘next big score,’ Lorelei is always working (as a stripper, mind you), and is never around the house. This allows the wolf, Huff, to prey on Lorelei’s daughters, Brixi (Marie Bollinger), Styx (Jenna Stone), and Shay (Elly Stefanko). Using the bible as his cover, Huff puts on the pretense of being pious and god-fearing when in reality god is most likely scared to death of Huff!! Lorelei finally opens her friggin’ eyes when one night she comes home from work to find Brixi huddled up in the foetal position naked and crying. Huff was preying on her younger sister, Shay, and Brixi interrupted and essentially took her place. It’s a chilling and disturbing scene that plays out. This, though, is the event that finally wakes mom up out of her oblivion as she realizes this sexual abuse has been occurring for a long time.

Huff’s aftermath of shattered innocence.

That night as her daughters are sleeping, Lorelei packs them each a backpack and fills it with drug money she stole from Huff and sends them on their way so they at least have the chance at a better life. If you’re rolling your eyes to some of the plot elements, don’t. Remember that HUFF is structured on and plays out like a modern day fairy tale. The next day when Huff finds out his money is gone, this sends him over the edge. Think about this: A man I described above as “a violent, sociopathic pedophile” goes even further over the edge and becomes even more violent and destructive. Things get really bad for our “three little piggies”!!

Charlie O’Connell OWNS his fucking role as Huff!!

After dealing with dear old mom, Huff sets off to find his step-daughters and the money. You can tell by the girls’ names which “little piggy” they are. There’s Brixi, Styx, and Shay (‘hay’ with an ‘s’). This is where the story could’ve become very gimmicky, but writer Cort Howell and director Paul Morrell know exactly where they want the story to go and they nicely control the material. The girls’ names reflect both their age and personality. Brixi is the oldest daughter and has endured the majority of the abuse from Huff. Her innocence is gone and she’s erected a hard shell around herself for protection. She already lives in a house of bricks. Styx is the middle daughter who has managed to escape from Huff’s twisted grasp (most likely because she’s dating the son of Huff’s mistress). Styx believes she’s tough and can stand up for herself, but deep down she’s constructed a house made of dried out sticks that can easily be destroyed. The sticks give her a false sense of security thinking they are strong enough to protect her. After Huff “blows down” those sticks, Styx is left facing the cold, hard reality of looking into the face of a wolf. And Shay, the youngest, never thought she needed anything more than hay to protect her. She’s young and innocent and can’t believe there are wolves out there who would want to harm her. Shay never had a chance!!

Dude; Clint Howard is just trying to move some hay!!

The power and success of this film rests squarely on the shoulders of Charlie O’Connell. Yeah you read that sentence correctly. Charlie O’Connell goes completely against his typical roles and puts in one of the most brutal, savage, and powerful performances I’ve seen in a long time. No shit!! This is the same happy-go-lucky, eternally nice guy who starred in 2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK (my review) and DUDE, WHERE’S MY CAR? !! But after watching him in HUFF you’ll never look at him the same way. O’Connell never lets his character slide into the bat-shit crazy, eyes-rolling-in-the-back-of-your-head kind of bad guy. Huff is never a caricature of other villains. O’Connell keeps Huff threatening, violent, scary, and brutal the entire film. If anything, he makes Huff more sociopathic by the film’s end than he was in the beginning. He goes from being a wolf to being a monster and O’Connell does a truly amazing job in this role. He pulls it off with 100% success.

Here’s a behind-the-scenes look at a very tough scene to watch.

The acting from the remaining cast wasn’t as strong as O’Connell’s, but everyone held their own. The cast and director were present at the screening I saw and they stayed for a Q&A afterwards. During the Q&A, Elly Stefanko (Shay) mentioned that this was her first acting role (although she’s been in the music industry for years). This was very apparent. She looked the least comfortable in front of the camera. This isn’t to say she did a bad job, but she clearly wasn’t as experienced as the others. Overall the acting was good, with a few problems here and there. Luckily the story was strong enough to absorb some of the lesser acting moments. This isn’t to say the story was perfect. There were times when Brixi and other characters did some really stupid things that made their situations worse, but these moments were few and far between.

The gore, here, isn’t off the charts either but there’s a lot of very disturbing themes and a lot of violence and intense moments that had me squirming in my seat. O’Connell played Huff with no boundaries; Huff took what he wanted and did whatever he wanted. Whether it’s cutting a bloody path trying to find his money or raping his young step-daughters (very disturbing scenes here), there was nothing redeemable about Huff. I also liked the decision of making Huff asthmatic and when he gets too worked up he needs to suck on his inhaler. Usually in even the most despicable characters you feel a little empathy for their weaknesses. Not with Huff. Every time he pulled out that inhaler I was hoping it was empty. I wanted to see that bastard slowly suffocate to death!!

Don’t worry, Huff doesn’t get out of this untouched!!

There was also an odd religious element that ran throughout the film that didn’t make much sense to me. In the opening, pre-credit scene, Huff is relating a rather bloody and violent bible story to his three very young step-daughters. The story included gang rape, dismemberment, and all those other bible-friendly themes. At first it was a rather funny scene due to the age of the girls (they were pre-pubescent at the time) and the horrific nature of the story. But when you looked into O’Connell’s eyes as he told the story, you saw that there was nothing there other than malice, violence, and destruction. If this wasn’t foreshadowing for things to come I don’t know what is!! After this very effective opening scene they filmmakers could’ve abandoned the religious theme and the film wouldn’t have suffered in the least.

Oh sweetie; that hay’s not gonna protect you!!

Unfortunately I have no news right now about when this film will be getting released. I’m hoping it’ll hit various cable MOD/VOD system’s soon and I’ll definitely let you know when it does (I have from a very reliable source that a distribution deal is coming). HUFF is a ‘don’t miss’ film that achieves a level of intensity rarely attained in genre films. This is career-changer role for Charlie O’Connell and it’ll blow you away. Do not miss HUFF!!

My Summary:

Director: Paul Morrell

Plot: 4 out of 5 stars

Gore: 5 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem: 0 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer at the Texas Frightmare Weekend 2012

Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies (2012)

If your first thought here is, “I think the title is actually ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER,” well you’re wrong. If you’re now thinking, “Aahhh; it’s a mockbuster … we must be dealing with The Asylum,” well then you hit the nail square on the head. ABRAHAM LINCOLN VS. ZOMBIES is indeed a ‘mockbuster’ (a lower-budgeted version of a big Hollywood release) being put out by The Asylum. Now before you roll your eyes I must remind you that The Asylum has recently put out 2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK (my review) and NAZIS AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH (my review), two way above average cheese-fests that were a lot of fun. Can The Asylum extend their hot streak to ABRAHAM LINCOLN VS. ZOMBIES? The film is still going through some final tweaking in post-production, but I was able to catch a screening of it at this year’s Texas Frightmare Weekend 2012. This will be released May 29, 2012.

The film opens with a young Abe Lincoln (Brennen Harper) doing some chores around the old log cabin. While out chopping wood he hears some screams from inside the cabin and goes off to investigate. It seems dear old mom turned into a zombie and is chained up in bed. Dad tried to put her outta her misery but messed up and shot himself (?!?). So it’s left to ‘lil Abe to clean up the mess. Cue gunshot and opening credits. Now ‘lil Abe is all grown up and the sixteenth President of the United States. It seems Abe (now played by Bill Oberst Jr.) is up to his nipples in the civil war and a raid on a strategic fort ended badly for the Union. Now rumors are starting to spread about dead soldiers and civilians re-animating and attacking the living. But old Abe knows this isn’t a rumor; he fought the deadly virus and saw its effects when young and knows this is a problem that must be dealt with quickly and effectively.

Bill Oberst, Jr. in the title role

In order to deal with this new zombie threat, Abe puts together the best men in the newly formed Secret Service and sets out behind enemy lines. He plans on both putting an end to the zombie plight and to take the strategic fort and tip the scales in the civil war. All the familiar characters are here: John Wilkes Booth, Edwin Stanton, Pat Garrett, Mary Todd Lincoln, a young Teddy Roosevelt, and General Stonewall Jackson. Of course not everything about them is historically accurate, but it’s fun to see how writers Karl Hirsch, J. Lauren Proctor, and Richard Schenkman (who also directed) weave them into the story and play around with their historical personas.

There’s a lot of zombies here, but not all that great looking.

After the setup and Lincoln and his posse arrive at the fort, the shit hits the fan and they find themselves trapped, having to fight for their lives against the rather goofy looking zombies that have surrounded the fort. The good news is that there’s a lot of zombies. The bad news is that most of them consist of a little greenish pancake makeup and fake blood on their faces and cloths. The rest of the film plays out pretty much as you expect it to. There is, though, one particular element that makes ABRAHAM LINCOLN VS. ZOMBIES pretty fun: actor Bill Oberst Jr. In general, the writers never take themselves too seriously and they try to keep everything moving along at a good pace. There’s a few moments that drag on and a few clever moments with some of the historical figures, but overall ABRAHAM LINCOLN VS. ZOMBIES suffers from a rather bland story. Luckily the filmmakers were smart enough to hire Bill Oberst Jr. to play the lead. Oberst puts in a really great performance and plays the role with a lot more sophistication than is written. He manages to find a really nice balance of playing the role of Lincoln as a serious and brooding statesman as well as a zombie-slaying, one-liner dropping badass (in one scene Abe screams out, “Emancipate this,” as he beheads a zombie). He blends this performance perfectly and makes it believable. Oberst is really great in this role. The other cast members are a mixed lot, some doing a good job while others over act like you expect to find in a film by The Asylum.

But the biggest problem here is, as mentioned above, the rather bland plot. There’s nothing that really grabs you (other than Oberst’s performance). The zombie killing scenes are filmed in a more “action flick” fashion than as a horror film. Everything, of course, is CGI here; the blood, most of the flames, a lot of the beheadings, and this is a shame. Just imagine an excessively gory flick about Abe Lincoln kicking some serious zombie ass all covered in blood and guts. That would’ve been badass. But what we get in ABRAHAM LINCOLN VS. ZOMBIES is your standard action kills of CGI beheadings and inconsistent moments where sometimes you need a headshot to kill the zombies while other times you can simply stab them in the chest to kill them. As I mentioned above, there’s a lot of zombies in this film to keep the main cast in constant danger, but they aren’t the best looking or acting zombies around.

Busting out a disco pose? Nope; just swinging his zombie killing weapon!!

ABRAHAM LINCOLN VS. ZOMBIES isn’t the best film The Asylum has put out, but on the other hand it’s not the worst either. There’s some fun elements in the story (playing around with history) and some pretty bland elements (the plot, unfortunately). But Bill Oberst Jr.’s performance alone is worth watching this one. He really owns this role and does a fantastic job. Just don’t expect to have bodies four score and seven men deep (sorry; couldn’t help myself). Look for this one on May 29, 2012.

My Summary:

Director: Richard Schenkman

Plot: 2.5 out of 5 stars

Gore: 4 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem: 4 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer from the Texas Frightmare Weekend 2012

Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead (2011)

Aahhh yes … just read that title again!!  The Texas Frightmare Weekend 2012 dug deep for this one (hee hee)!!  This was listed on the program as a “Secret Screening” due to it not being picked up yet for North American distribution.  The title, ZOMBIE ASS: TOILET OF THE DEAD, captures exactly what this film is all about.  This is another crazy, over-the-top Japanese, comic book-style action and gore film from the same mind that brought you The MACHINE GIRL, ROBOGEISHA, and MUTANT GIRLS SQUAD (which I saw at last year’s Texas Frightmare Weekend).  This also proves something that I’ve been wondering about for a while now:  Director Noboru Iguchi has a huge ass fetish.  No, I’m not saying he likes huge asses, only that his fetish for the human derrière is a consuming theme in most of his films.  And not just the ass itself, but things going in and coming out of the ass as well.  This theme of his comes to a head (or should I say ‘tail’; hee hee) in ZOMBIE ASS: TOILET OF THE DEAD.

You may not wanna know what they’re looking at!!

Let’s cut to the chase:  Did I enjoy ZOMBIE ASS?  The short answer is yes.  But mind you that I saw this film at a horror convention with other fanatical horror fans at midnight after everyone in the audience had a few cocktails (that’s putting it mildly).  In other words, I saw this with the right crowd.  Would I get the same experience if I watched it at my house alone?  Most likely not.  I will admit, though, that there are more than a few laugh-out-loud moments in ZOMBIE ASS that would’ve had me laughing even if I was alone.  Just in case you don’t realize it, ZOMBIE ASS is full of toilet humor (come on; the word ‘toilet’ is in the friggin’ title), fart humor, shit humor, and some downright good old fashioned gross out humor.  Still with me?

It’s classy scenes like this one that will earn ZOMBIE ASS an Academy Award!!

The film begins with four teens heading up to the mountains to go fishing.  Pretty Megumi (Arisa Nakamura) is still trying to overcome the suicide of her sister, Ai, who killed herself due to being relentlessly tormented by bullies at school.  Megumi, who has a penchant for generic-looking female sailor outfits, promised herself she’d never feel weak again and has since taken up and mastered karate.  Megumi can now kick some serious ass (hee hee).  She lets her friend Aya (Mayu Sugano) talk her into accompanying her, her delinquent, drug abusing boyfriend Tak (Kentaro Kishi), their goofy friend Naoi (Danny), and their very hot wannabe-model friend Maki (Asana Mamoru).  Once they get to the mountains, Maki tells them the real reason they’re up there is to catch a trout in order to find a particular parasite that she can swallow to make her not just thin, but “Super model thin.”  Hey why not; it beats eating that shitty Weight Watchers food!!  In a rather disgusting scene (one of many here, folks), Maki cuts a very long and ugly parasite out of a trout and proceeds to swallow it down in one gulp.  A little while later Maki is doubled over with intense stomach pains  proceeded by excessive farting (excessive farting) and finally the feeling she’s gonna shit her (sexy) panties (sorry; she’s a pretty hot gal).  Before you can wipe the tears from your eyes from laughing so hard at her farting, she’s squatting over a hole in an outhouse ready to unload when she’s attacked by a group of shit-covered zombies coming up out of the hole.  Disgusting?  Definitely.  Funny?  Absolutely!!

The kids then find themselves being saved by Dr. Tanaka (Kentarô Shimazu) who lives out in this remote village with his daughter Sachi (Yûki).  Little do they know that the good doc is out there experimenting on the parasites and zombies in order to keep his little girl alive.  Now our gang must fight off a horde of shit-covered zombies as well as a crazy doctor, his equally insane daughter, and swarms of anal-penetrating butt parasites!!  Yeah; this one is bat-shit crazy (hee hee), completely over the top (even for a Iguchi film), and does it’s best to out-gross itself with each passing second.  Just when you think this film has bottomed out (hee hee) it manages to delve deeper into a Freudian cache of poop humor, girls getting anally wrecked by parasites, excessive farting to the point where a character takes flight, and ultimately a fight with the Queen Parasite that ends poorly for everyone involved.  The whole time we experience this we get shot after shot of really pretty/sexy girls in panties and even get a scene of borderline lesbianism.  Yup, ZOMBIE ASS has a little something for everyone!!

I need to ask this … does anyone else find this still sexy, or is it just me?

So is this fun or just silly, childish toilet humor from an anally obsessed Japanese director?  Yes!!  It’s like dipping a chocolate bar into peanut butter (I bet you’ll never look at a Fece’s Peanut Butter Cup again the same way … Reece’s, I meant ‘Reece’s’).  ZOMBIE ASS: TOILET OF THE DEAD is what it is and Iguchi makes no apologies.  This is a hilarious film that takes crazy Japanese horror films to a whole nutta level.  This is best enjoyed with a group of like-minded friends, lots of alcohol, and a few women in the group.  No matter how prude your guests are, they won’t be able to stop themselves from smiling and giggling at various scenes.  Most times when you say a movie is “shitty” that’s not a good thing; but here it’s a high compliment!!  Check this one out and have a shitty time.  I mean that.

See how I made this picture NOT sexy!!

My Summary:

Director:  Noboru Iguchi (& co-writer with three others)

Plot:  3 out of 5 turds

Gore:  8.5 out of 10 brown travelers

Zombie Mayhem:  4 out of 5 wet farts

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer from the Texas Frightmare Weekend 2012

Texas Frightmare Weekend 2012: Q & A with The Italian Masters, Deodato, Bava, & Stivaletti

The Italian Masters!! (l-r Lamberto Bava, Ruggero Deodato, & Sergio Stivaletti)

If nothing else occurred at this year’s Texas Frightmare Weekend except this Q & A, I would’ve been extremely satisfied and fulfilled. I’m talking about the Q & A with three of the Masters of Italian Horror Movies: Ruggero Deodato, Lamberto Bava, and Sergio Stivaletti. The only thing that could’ve made this panel better is if Dario Argento and Lucio Fulci himself were there.

If you’re too young to have experienced it, there’s nothing quite like the old-school Italian horror scene from the 1970’s and 1980’s. I’m talking about Argento, Fulci, Lenzi, and of course the three Master’s on this panel. Film’s like Argento’s giallo trilogy (THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE, THE CAT O’ NINE TAILS, and FOUR FLIES ON GREY VELVET) and his early slasher-gore flicks; Fulci’s ZOMBI, THE BEYOND, CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD, and THE NEW YORK RIPPER; Bruno Mattei’s HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD … I could go on and on. Like I said, there’s nothing like an old-school Italian horror flick!! Marked with excessive gore, interesting dialogue and plots, and enough craziness to fill ten American horror films, the Italians knew how to craft a horror film. And besides the above mentioned directors, no one does it better than Lamberto Bava, Ruggero Deodato, and special f/x wizard and director Sergio Stivatelli. Well not only were they all in attendance at this year’s Texas Frightmare Weekend, but they were all up on one stage together for an amazing Q & A session (hosted and translated by Paolo Zelati).

After a long standing ovation as they entered the room, the three Masters took their seats and Zelati began introducing them (as if he needed too!!). One of the first things Deodato talks about is how CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST has been downloaded off the internet millions of times and how he got no money whatsoever for it: “If I could just have a penny … one penny … each time it’s been downloaded …” he lets the thought fade away. But he says this with such a boyish smile that you can tell the man still has a devilish streak a mile wide running throughout him. The first question Zelati asks is for them all to name what films were influential on them when they were young. Stivaletti tells us his dad used to take him to see a lot of Westerns, but one day dad took him to see ONE MILLION YEARS B.C. When he saw Ray Harryhausen’s effects, he was amazed. By the late afternoon the same day, he was making his own ‘giant creature’ effects.

Lamberto Bava had a very different answer. For him, no film had a greater influence on him than BAMBI … yes; BAMBI!! He told us that the mother getting killed haunted him for years and he started making horror as revenge for Bambi’s mother (although he did gave credit to his brilliant father, Mario Bava).

Then the questions were opened up to the audience. This is when the Masters realized they were in a room full of diehard Italian horror fans … and they loved it!! These three Masters were having a great time answering our questions, reliving old memories they hadn’t thought of in a while, and just joking around among themselves and the audience. When asked what movies shock them, we got some really interesting answers. For Bava, he said watching his own masterpiece, DEMONS, really shocked him. He was surprised at how effective it was. That, and of course (he reminded us), BAMBI!! Stivaletti said that many scenes from CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST shocked him … and THE EXORCIST. But Deodato’s answer really hit a chord with me. For him, the 2008 film MARTYRS really shocked him. He saw the film with a “non-horror” crowd and watching their reaction to it was amazing. Grown men running out of the theater, women crying. He told us that film really shocked and had an impact on him.

Answering questions!!

Another question that led to a lot of discussion was which of their films were they most happy with and which they feel was their most difficult to make. For Bava he was most happy with DEMONS. He loved the story, the way the effects turned out, and the performances. Bava’s most difficult project he worked on was a TV series titled THE CAVE OF THE GOLDEN ROSE. What was so difficult about it was that he created an entire fantasy world and rich mythological backstory for the project, and this was a daunting task. He was also disappointed that it was never released in the U.S. For Stivaletti, he said this was an easy answer; THE WAX MASK. This was both the film he’s most happy with and was also the most difficult to make. Why? It was the first film he directed and did the f/x on (he also had help in the writing department from both Dario Argento and Lucio Fulci).

Deodato said his most difficult film to make was LAST CANNIBAL WORLD for one reason alone. They were in the middle of the Malaysian jungle with no back ups of anything and with a crew he never worked with before. He’s most happy with CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST. This film, he told us, “was easy to make.” He would send rolls of footage back to the producers in Milan almost every day, and they were loving it. They started pre-selling the film before it was even edited. Their buyers were loving everything about it. The producers would call and tell him to “get that film done!! Do whatever you have to do … kill off everyone in the movie, just get it done!!”

It’s just a bicycle seat & blood, folks!!

Deodato also gave us some insight into one of the film’s best gore f/x … the native girl impaled on a stake. One day he said to his f/x guy, “Start thinking up a way to impale a woman on a long stake.” Without blinking an eye his guy walked away. The next morning, early in the morning, he knocks on Deodato’s door and he was holding a long wooden stake with a bicycle seat attached to it (so the actress can just sit on the seat). “It was perfect,” Deodato told us. “The girl sits on the seat and we cover everything in blood … perfect!!” Deodato then ends his story with the news that the sequel to CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST, titled simply CANNIBALS, is still in the works.

Seeing these three Italian Masters altogether really brought back some great memories of sneaking off to the corner Ma & Pa video store when younger and renting some of these extreme Italian classic films and watching them alone in my basement without my parents knowing about it. Oh those films I watched at a young age … wow!! But Bava, Deodato, and Stivaletti were hilarious, insightful, and really appreciated all of us hanging on their every word. I don’t think anyone will ever be able to recapture the tone, atmosphere, and feel of the old-school Italian horror movies, and that’s okay with me. That’s why I’ve spent a small fortune keeping my DVD library updated with the classics. This is also why the films from this era should never even be attempted to be remade. Ya just can’t do it.

But thank you Bava, Deodato, and Stivaletti … you really brought back some great memories for me, and thank you Texas Frightmare Weekend 2012 for giving them the stage!! I think I’ll be having an Italian Cannibal Horror Marathon this weekend.

Stay Bloody!!!