Ahab (Adam Brooks), sporting the grind house eye-patch.

How to describe FATHER’S DAY … wow. The city, and specifically fathers, are being terrorized by serial killer-anal rapist-cannibal, Chris Fuchman (Mackenzie Murdock). Ahab (Adam Brooks), whose father was a victim of this ass-fucking maniac, track Fuchman down and kills him … or so he thinks. But years later it seems Fuchman is back, and more rapey and cannibally than ever. Fuchman rapes and kills a young street hustler, Twink’s (Conor Sweeney), dad. So Twink teams up with Ahab (after tracking him down and enticing him to end his self-imposed banishment and retirement) to track down and find out if indeed Fuchman is back or if a copycat killer has taken his place. To make things even more odd, Twink and Ahab are joined by a priest, Father John Sullivan (Matthew Kennedy). Just so you know, I’m making this sound way more coherent than what’s up on screen. Just like the good old grindhouse films of the 1970’s and 80’s, the plot is just a vehicle and excuse for some excessive violence, mayhem, lots of nudity, and lots of anal rape scenes. Lots.

Oh yeah; just try and un-see this image!!

If you need it spelled out for ya, nothing, and I mean nothing, in FATHER’S DAY is meant to be taken seriously. This plays out like both an homage and a spoof/satire of the grindhouse sub-genre. FATHER’S DAY is written and directed by Astron-6, a collective of five guys who are bat-shit crazy and love making films. Astron-6 is Adam Brooks (who plays Ahab), Jeremy Gillespie, Matthew Kennedy (who plays Father Sullivan), Steven Kostanski, and Conor Sweeney (who plays Twink). The best way to describe the tone of FATHER’S DAY is to appeal to those of you who saw HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN: Eisener wrote HOBO to be an authentic grindhouse flick. The humor found in HOBO was black humor that was an organic part of the story. The way it was done, the viewer felt almost uncomfortable laughing at some of the ‘humor.’ Example; when the guys went on the school bus full of kids with the flamethrower, I was laughing hysterically while my wife and the other few females around me were looking at me as if I were Stalin with a swastika carved in my forehead. FATHER’S DAY, on the other hand, was written more like a traditional Troma film. The entire film is absurd and filled with gross out humor that is kind of poking fun at the entire grindhouse sub-genre. This isn’t a criticism, per se, but if you’re looking for another HOBO-style film you may be disappointed. HOBO had more clever and, yes, sophisticated writing behind it while FATHER’S DAY was approached as more of a comedy set in the grindhouse universe.

Our ‘heroes’ (yes; that’s a guy in the red dress).

FATHER’S DAY goes straight for the juggler but wants to have a frat party beer-kegger as that juggler drains out. Watching this with a room full of horror fans at the Texas Frightmare Weekend 2012 heightened this experience. There are scenes that are straight up ‘laugh out loud’ as well enough graphic dismemberment, anal rape, and cock ripping scenes to leave you wide mouthed and wondering, “Did that just happen?” The acting is good all-around with Adam Brooks’ Ahab and Conor Sweeney’s Twink stealing the show. These two, as well as the entire cast, look like they’re having a blast and that on-screen attitude becomes infectious. FATHER’S DAY is just a really fun, offensive, bat-shit crazy film that you’re either gonna love or hate. The one element that Astron-6 did fail on was the length of the film. Even with only a 99 minute run time, FATHER’S DAY felt like it dragged on about 20-25 minutes too long. Tightening up some of the scenes and re-working the ending that takes place in Hell (yes; in HELL) would’ve made the film flow a little smoother. As it is, FATHER’S DAY over-extends its welcome a bit.

This is EXACTLY what it looks like!!

FATHER’S DAY is one of those polarizing films that you’ll either love or hate. If you love films like THE TOXIC AVENGER, CLASS OF NUKE ‘EM HIGH, and TERROR FIRMER, then you’re gonna love FATHER’S DAY. If you’re down with bizarre plots full of gratuitous nudity (titties, ass, and cock), excessive violence, loads of gore, and some genuine laugh out loud moments, then this is the film for you. But love it or hate it, FATHER’S DAY will leave an impression on you (and will leave you with an aching feeling in your loins). Most of all, though, you’ll never be able to look at your father the same way again on Father’s Day!!

My Summary:

Directors: Astron-6 (& writers)

Plot: 3 out of 5 stars

Gore: 8 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem: 0 out of 5 brains

Father-Raping Cannibals: 5 out of 5 prostate jabs

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer at the Texas Frightmare Weekend 2012

I couldn’t pass up on this image!!

PROMETHEUS writer, Damon Lindelof

Ya gotta hand it to the studio and Ridley Scott … they really kept a lid on the plot of PROMETHEUS. Sure, we all have a good idea what the film’s about, but when it comes right down to it we really don’t have a firm grasp of the plot. In a recent interview with Entertainment Weekly, writer Damon Lindelof answered more than a few questions that have been nagging at fans’ minds.

In the interview, Lindelof discusses just how much the script changed from it’s first draft to the film we’re gonna see:

“I thought it was really cool. It was not at all what I expected it to be. But obviously they were giving it to me for a reason. And this is one of those situations where you’re given no advance sense of what they like, what they don’t like, you just have to walk out on the plank and say, Here is my fundamental reaction to this thing. So when I finished it I went into my office and I wrote an email to Ridley and his producing partners. And this response was basically my job interview.

I wrote maybe a four or five paragraph email saying here are all the things I love about it, I think there are some incredible set pieces here, I love the fundamental idea behind the movie, I feel like it’s a cool think piece. BUT I think it’s relying a bit too heavily on theAlien stuff that we’ve seen now five or six times in different movies. Chest-bursting and face-hugging and xenomorphs and I just feel that your idea is so strong and the characters can be made so strong that we don’t need any of that stuff. We can present iterations of that stuff in different ways.

That isn’t to say that this isn’t a movie that should be set in that universe, but I look at it more like a story that is running parallel to the original Alien, so that if there was a sequel to this movie, it would not be Alien, it would be Prometheus 2. And thenPrometheus 2 is parallel to Aliens. And here’s how we could do that. And so I sent off that email and I got into my bed. I didn’t sleep at all. And at 10 a.m. the next morning, my agent called me and said, ‘Whatever it is you did, they liked it. Can you go in and meet now?’”

He then went on to discuss how the biggest part of his job was down playing the ALIEN clichés and helping establish PROMETHEUS as its own film:

“The job that I was hired to do was to scale back the familiar tropes or symbology of what we think of when we think of an Alien movie. When I say Alien to you, you think face-hugger, chest-burster, eggs, acid blood, queen — the concentration of those things was much higher in Jon’s script than they are in Prometheus.”

Finally, the interviewer asked the question we all wanna know:

Let me just come out and ask on the record — Is this an Alien prequel?

And the answer?

I do not want to be evasive, but I do have to challenge what you mean by that word. Because that word is a very recent thing. I hadn’t really heard the word “prequel” before Phantom Menace. If your definition is: this is a series of events that precedes an existing movie, then, yes. This series of events that happens in Prometheus precedes the series of events that occurs in Alien. However, one of the other definitions is that the ending of the prequel leads you right up to the beginning of the preceding movie. The Thing prequel ends with a dog running across the Arctic landscape being pursued by a helicopter….

Okay, so this doesn’t lead to the first scene of Alien, but it does take place before Alien in the same world as Alien?

Correct.

Finally; a clear answer!! I don’t know what you guys think, but PROMETHEUS, for me, is gearing up to be the biggest sci-fi movie event in over a decade. What’s that? AVATAR? AVATAR can suck it … it was boring and a rehash of of at least eight other films. I think PROMETHEUS is gonna be really big!!

What do you think?

Stay Bloody!!!

filmmaker Neil Marshall

I assumed this project just folded up and went the way of the Dodo bird!! It’s been a long time since any news came out about the LAST VOYAGE OF THE DEMETER. This is a Dracula story that focuses the story and plot on the ship, The Demeter; the ship that brought Dracula to new shores. This project has been around for a few years and has attracted such directors as Robert Schwentke (who directed the action-thriller, RED) and Marcus Nispel (THE CHAINSAW MASSACRE, FRIDAY THE 13TH, & CONAN THE BARBARIAN remakes). And last year the film almost made it into production with David Slade directing (TWILIGHT: ECLIPSE) and starring Ben Kingsley and Noomi Rapace. But again, nada.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Neil Marshall (THE DESCENT, DOG SOLDIERS) may be stepping in to take over this project. Marshall is currently attached to direct, and I for one welcome this development. I’ve enjoyed all of Marshall’s projects, but it seems every time he makes a new tim it gets further away from the horror genre. Let’d face it folks; Marshall is a greg fucking horror director. He gets it and gets what it takes to make a truly effective horror film. Here’s a general description of the project:

Demeter was the name of the ship that transported Dracula from Transylvania to London in Bram Stoker’s classic tale. In that 1897 novel, the ship washes up on the shores of England, tattered and broken, with one raving-mad survivor. Written a decade ago by Bragi Schut (Season of the Witch), the script tells the tale of that journey, in which the crew is slaughtered one-by-one by a mysterious passenger.

Sounds like a nice set up to have some slaughtering on a ship if ya ask me, and what better director is there to give this project a boost and some originality more than Neil Marshall?

More on this one as it becomes available.

Stay Bloody!!!

JACOB is told from the present-day perspective of the sheriff, Billy (Carrell). The story that unfolds from his flashback is one of tragedy, domestic violence, murder, and bloody carnage. Jacob is the oldest son of Edith and Lawrence Kell (Krystn Caldwell and Michael Biehn, respectively). Even at a young age there was something obviously wrong with Jacob. Autism, a form of retardation, or something along those lines afflicted little Jacob. We first meet Jacob, though, in his early twenties and he’s a menacing looking guy who has pretty much retreated inside himself and only responds to his sister, Sissy (Grace Powell). Jacob loves his little sister and would never do her any harm … and god forbid if anyone else were to harm her!! We learn through flashbacks within the flashback that Jacob’s dad (Biehn) died in a very dramatic and violent fashion and now Otis (also played by Carrell) has stepped in as step dad to these kids. Only problem is Otis is a violent drunk who gets rather punchy after a few drinks. One night after a day-long binge, Otis kills Sissy and sets Jacob off on a long night of bloody, savage vengeance. Throw in a subplot about a cursed book that adds in an interesting supernatural element, and you’ve got yourself a story!!

Carrell’s, Otis is one despicable character!!

JACOB is, for sure, a slow burn movie. Carrell takes his time setting up the characters and setting the stage for the bloody and violent final act. Otis couldn’t be a more disgusting, despicable, and deplorable human being, beating his wife and always ready to raise a hand at his step kids. He’s out every day getting shit-faced, trying to pick up anything with two legs, a hole, and a heartbeat while his wife is busting her ass at the local diner. Carrell does a pretty nice job in the role of Otis. He plays Otis with a certain level of restraint and only occasionally lets the role get away from him. There’s a few times where Carrell’s Otis overacts, but in all he does a nice job.

Sissy (Grace Powell), is the light of Jacob’s dark world

Unfortunately some of the other cast members don’t fare as well. The mother, Edith (Caldwell), overacts most of her time on camera and comes across as one of the lesser experienced in the cast. She doesn’t always look comfortable on film and this comes through in her performance. On the other hand, Grace Powell (Sissy) does a nice job in her role as the younger sister of Jacob. This is her first feature-length film and she pulls off her role like a seasoned pro. Powell has an inherent innocence that shines through but also manages to convey a sense of strength beyond her years, not having led an easy life with an abusive step father and mentally crippled older brother.

Meet Jacob. Stay on his good side.

Carrell really shines with the way he developed the tension in JACOB. You know from the opening scenes that the story is going to end in violence and blood, and Carrell takes his time creating a tension-rich tone to get us there. The tension begins with the actions of one asshole step father and Carrell manipulates and increases the intensity of the tension as the film unfolds. The addition of the mysterious book, which ends up playing more than a marginal part in the motivations of some of the actors, could have come off gimmicky, but Carrell expertly handled this element. He didn’t over-explain it or drive it in the ground, but left it as one of the mysterious aspects in the film. This worked for me.

Once Jacob gets started, not even the cops themselves will stand in his way.

No doubt, though, the film gets really fun once Jacob goes on his killing spree. Carrell doesn’t leave too much to the imagination as we watch Jacob literally tear people apart, bury sharp objects in them, and in general go ‘medieval on their asses.’ The special f/x are really well done and will satisfy your blood lust that you’ve come to expect from the indie horror scene here in Texas.

JACOB is another film made by a collaborative of Texas filmmakers and actors who love horror films. Texas filmmakers like Stacy Davidson (director of SWEATSHOP, my review) and Jeremy Sumrall (director of POSSUM WALK) came together to help Carrell put his vision on film, and the passion Carrell has for filmmaking shines through. JACOB is a solid full-length feature debut that only suffers from a few pacing problems and some inconsistent acting. But people who love slow burn flicks with explosive endings will appreciate what Carrell does with the story here … and gore hounds will be rewarded as well. JACOB is worth checking out.

My Summary:

Director: Larry Wade Carrell (& writer & actor)

Plot: 3 out of 5 stars

Gore: 7.5 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem: 0 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer from the Texas Frightmare Weekend 2012

———-

Guillermo del Toro can’t seem to let ‘At the Mountains of Madness’ go. Universal pulled the plug on the director’s planned horror feature last year, with most of us speculating that it was the project’s escalating budget that gave the studio pause. And while that’s still a contributing factor, del Toro revealed another culprit that might have led to the demise of ‘Madness’ – Ridley Scott’s upcoming ‘Prometheus.’

Over the weekend, del Toro took to the message boards on his own official Web site to address Scott’s sci-fi epic and the connections it might have had to his ‘Madness,’ had he actually been able to film the movie. As he explained, ‘Madness’ author H.P. Lovecraft influenced Scott as he made his original ‘Alien,’ and so del Toro paid close attention when the director was returning to the ‘Alien’ universe for what’s rumored to be a prequel.

“Prometheus started filming a while ago – right at the time we were in preproduction on PACIFIC RIM…The title itself gave me pause- knowing that ALIEN was heavily influenced by Lovecraft and his novella. This time, decades later with the budget and place Ridley Scott occupied, I assumed the greek metaphor alluded at the creation aspects of the HPL book. I believe I am right and if so, as a fan, I am delighted to see a new RS science fiction film, but this will probably mark a long pause – if not the demise – of ATMOM.”

Can’t they exist separate of one another? If del Toro were to wait years to begin production on ‘Madness’ (and he’s already workshopped the project for decades), couldn’t he eventually get a unique spin on ‘Madness’ into theaters at some point?

Sadly, del Toro says the stories, he believes, are far too similar for ‘Madness’ to ever work out. He says the films offer the “same premise” and would have “scenes that would be almost identical” to each other.

“Both movies seem to share identical set pieces and the exact same BIG REVELATION (twist) at the end. I won’t spoil it.”

We’re thankful for that, though not for the fact that del Toro likely is giving up on making ‘Madness’ happen. Currently, the director’s hard at work on ‘Pacific Rim,’ and if it breaks the bank, it’s possible ‘Madness’ could happen somewhere down the line. But if Scott connects with ‘Prometheus,’ and it does a decent-enough job of telling Lovecraft’s story, that might be the version fans will live with for generations to come.

———-

I don’t know how to feel about this. On the one hand we’re assuming that Del Toro knows the entire plot, including the ending, of PROMETHEUS. Who knows; maybe he does. I’ve made it pretty clear that PROMETHEUS is one of my most anticipated films of the year, but I’d also love to see Del Toro do AT THE MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS!! Don’t give up so easy, Del Toro … fight to make the film you want!!

But at a different website (click here) I found someone who breaks down to connection between PROMETHEUS and AT THE MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS in pretty clear terms. I’m going to re-post that here as well for those of you who may not be that well-versed in the works of HP Lovecraft.

———-

It is obvious that there are certain parallels or general concepts present in prometheus and at the mountains of madness:

1) in both stories we see a group of explorers and scientists immersed in a journey of discoveries and revelations that change the scientific, religious and philosophical vision of being human and its role in the universe. Here is where the terrifying truth is revealed.

2) in both stories our dear players you will find answers to all the paradigms and transcendental mysteries in ancient structures designed by an alien entity.

3) in both stories will see alien gods which gave rise to life on Earth and also created other creatures. In one are engineers and on the other are the elder things. (also known as the old ones)

4) in both stories will see the monster created through genetic engineering. in one we will see the missing link of the xenomorph, possibly intended as a biological weapon; and on the other we have the shoggoths. The shoggoths are not biological weapons, but play the same role in “Monster” devours men. in fact the race of the elder things was consumed mostly by the monstrosities that created. Also most likely that the Necronomicon of Giger was influenced by the HP lovecraft.

And finally a question that has already been discussed repeatedly on this page: Is there something more dangerous and terrifying than humans, xenomorphs, or engineers?

———-

What do you think?

Stay Bloody!!!

AMERICAN MARY stars GINGER SNAPS star Katharine Isabelle.  Check out the plot crunch:

The story follows medical student, Mary Mason, as she becomes increasingly broke and disenchanted with the surgical world she once admired. The allure of easy money sends Mary into the world of underground surgeries which ends up leaving more marks on her than her so called ‘freakish’ clientele.

Stay Bloody!!!

But I still indulge from time to time, my tastes having expanded beyond the Marvel house of Ideas. And thankfully, too, or I wouldn’t have discovered DRIVER FOR THE DEAD, a three-issue miniseries released in 2011 from Radical Publishing. DRIVER was created by John Heffernan, who wrote the script for SNAKES ON A PLANE, which you might have heard of, and drawn by Leonardo Manco, an Argentine artist who has worked for both Marvel and DC on titles such as WAR MACHINE, HELLBLAZER and DRUID.

meet Alabaster Graves … bad … ASS!!

It opens in the Deep South, in Shreveport, Louisiana, as elderly black exorcist Moses Freeman (who bears a not so subtle resemblance as well as surname to Morgan Freeman) arrives at the house of a couple who son has taken ill with a strange malady conventional doctors can’t cure – hence their summoning Moses. Displaying detective skills as well as knowledge of hoodoo, Moses determines that the boy has been bewitched by a former nanny the couple recently fired. The boy is possessed by some fierce demons, and though Moses is victorious, it’s at the cost of his life – though not before giving the couple a card, with the name of a man they must contact to collect his body. A man named Alabaster Graves.

We cut to our eponymous hero, the most unusual hearse driver you’ll ever see. For one thing, his hearse is a souped-up Pontiac GTO emblazoned with the name Black Betty and carrying an arsenal of weapons. For another, the bodies he takes to their final resting place are of the super natural variety, whether it’s werewolves, vampires, witches or zombies. He’s a deadpan Cajun who lives for the next paycheck and the next beer, who’s been transporting bodies since his days in the Army, bringing home KIA comrades to their families.

Now Graves is hired to collect Moses’ body, and Moses’ nubile great-granddaughter Marissa, to their family plot in New Orleans as quickly as possible, though Marissa, who’s been kept ignorant of Moses’ powers and reputation, doesn’t understand why. But we soon learn why, as we meet Fallow, a 200-year-old necromancer who stays alive by taking the body parts of others – and gains power by taking the parts of those with supernatural abilities. And if he can get the heart of Moses for himself, who knows how powerful he could get?

The Black Betty!!

In interviews, creator Heffernan likened DRIVER OF THE DEAD to a supernatural version of the Jason Statham TRANSPORTER films. This description is very apt, and I could easily see Statham in the movie version of this, crashing into zombie cops and flinging one-liners. Marco’s artwork complements this beautifully; there are wonderful, atmospheric shots of forbidding manors, dark bayous and decrepit cemeteries, and action scenes bereft of dialogue that make it feel like a comic book adaptation of a forgotten 80s action flick.

There is a great deal of realistic-seeming research both into the intricacies of voodoo and other magicks, as well as Louisiana history and locales (I just returned from a vacation to the Big Easy, and this took me back). The characters, by comparison, are cardboard cutouts, not exactly multilayered – WATCHMEN, this isn’t – but again, this is the writer of SNAKES ON A PLANE, and really, it works for the story (hey, the hero’s name is Alabaster Graves!). But as the story unfolds, and Fallow gets closer to his ultimate goal, Graves learns more about himself, and his true role in the supernatural world.

author John Heffernan

It’s not perfect. The opening exorcism scene with Moses, while setting the tone of the story and showing us how powerful he is, goes on too long. There are numerous scenes of Fallow collecting organs from people with special talents, and they all follow the same pattern: we see his potential victim helping ordinary folk, we see Fallow or his undead crew murder the ordinary folk, and then Fallow takes the body parts he wants while spouting some pithy dialogue (though these are the scenes where we get some really cool gore shots). And a couple of the menaces Graves faces gets defeated a little too quickly.

But these are minor quibbles. I’d recommend getting these issues, and hope that Heffernan and Manco reunite for another of Alabaster Graves’ adventures – and that Hollywood thinks about making this into a badass movie with Statham, Nic Cage or Bruce Willis. Someone’s made a motion-comic “trailer” for the series here on YouTube, and you can purchase the series through numerous outlets.

And maybe Santa could get me a Black Betty of my own? Please?

Deggsy’s Summary:

Writer: John Heffernan

Plot: 4 out of 5 stars

Gore: 7 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem: 3.5 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Derek “Deggsy” O’Brien

“Ugh,” Burton replied, playfully scoffing at the question.

“Yeah, Tim,” Depp reacted, adding emphasis for his friend to answer the question.

“This is my last movie,” Burton continued as both of them chuckled at the idea. “You’ll be playing Jeffrey Jones,” he said to Depp, which sent the actor into further giggles.

“Yeah,” Depp laughed. “I can play Jeffrey, I think.”

“We can make it work,” Burton said.

Jeffrey Jones in BEETLEJUICE

Now did Burton mean Depp is gonna play the character Jeffrey Jones made famous in the first film, or did he mean he was gonna play Jeffrey Jones in the sequel?  Or are these two just joking around and getting punchy from the long press junket they’re on?  Who knows, but one thing is for sure:  A BEETLEJUICE 2 is moving forward!!  DARK SHADOWS writer Seth Grahame-Smith is definitely planning on delivering a script to Burton this year:

“I am hopefully going to write it this year,” Grahame-Smith said. “I’ve gone and met with Tim Burton about it, I’ve gone and met with Michael Keaton about it. In theory everybody would be open to it if the script is good, so now it’s just my job to make sure the script is good.”

When asked what he thought about including a role for Depp in the script, Grahame-Smith sounded pretty content with his fate:

“I may not be able to avoid it — [Burton] may make me do it.“

While you’re at it, Grahame-Smith, ya might as well write a role for Helena Bonham Carter!!

What do you think; does the Buton-Depp collaborations need to stop?

Stay Bloody!!!

For those of you who may not remember, PIRANHA 3DD reunites the crazy bastards behind the FEAST trilogy (I love that trilogy), director John Gulager and writers Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan.  The film stars Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, Chris Zylka, David Koechner, Meagan Tandy, Paul James Jordan, Jean-Luc Bilodeau, Adrian Martinez, Clu Gulager, Gary Busey, Katrina Bowden, Christopher Lloyd, Ving Rhames, Paul Scheer, and David Hasselhoff.  Here’s the plot crunch:

I’m really looking forward to this one.  It looks like a lot of gratuitous tithes and gore!!  Now onto the Gary Busey clip:

Stay Bloody!!!