Scary Movie 5 Trailer Drops … I Think the Mayan’s Were Right!!

scary-movie-5-posterStop what you’re doing everyone!! A franchise that has already overstayed it’s welcome by about two films and which has filled the most recent film full of actors we cold all give a fuck about has dropped it’s trailer. Yes; I’m talking about SCARY MOVIE 5 and I’m sure it’s going to suck out loud!! SCARY MOVIE 5 is written by David Zucker and Pat Proft, is directed by Malcolm D. Lee (of UNDERCOVER BROTHER fame), and stars Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Ashley Tisdale, Erica Ash, Heather Locklear, Jerry O’Connell, Kate Walsh, Jasmine Guy, and Terry Crews. SCARY MOVIE 5 attempts to take stabs at BLACK SWAN, the PARANORMAL ACTIVITY franchise, RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES, 127 HOURS, and lots more. Oh boy. Check out the plot crunch:

Snooty, aloof, imperious, and oversexed French dance company director Pierre is putting on a new production. Jody, a Caucasian late-20s mother of two and her late-20s African American friend Kendra are both vying for the lead in the production. Jody’s extremely controlling former dancer mother is determined that Jody will have the brilliant career that eluded her. The highly skilled mid-30s Diva veteran dancer with the company, Heather Daltry, gets cut from the production and goes berserk.

Oh boy.

Well you’ve read this far; may as well check out the trailer:

Oh boy.

What do you think? Will you be seeing SCARY MOVIE 5 or THE EVIL DEAD remake … both of which are being released on April 12, 2013?

Stay Bloody!!!

Scary Movie 5

More Casting News Drops for Scary Movie 5

According to Bloody-Disgusting.com, Heather Locklear is locked in on the new SCARY MOVIE 5 cast. Locklear will play the mother of a young dancer, and the role is suspiciously similar to that of Barbara Hershey’s role in BLACK SWAN. Remember the good old days when Heather Locklear WAS the young dancer!! SCARY MOVIE 5 is directed by Malcolm D. Lee, written by David Zucker and Pat Proft, and stars Ashley Tisdale, Terry Crews, Marisa Saks, Erica Ash, and Lindsay Lohan. Returning to the series are Charlie Sheen, Simon Rex, Roland “Lil Duval” Powell, and Molly Shannon. As of now, SCARY MOVIE is slated for a April 19, 2013 release. Check out the plot crunch:

The plot involves three dancers — one veteran performer and two upstarts who are also best friends — who vie for the lead in a new production from a snooty, aloof, imperious, and oversexed director. The reboot will spoof Black Swan, Paranormal Activity, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and 127 Hours.

Oh boy.

Stay Bloody!!!

Director Named for Scary Movie 5

director Malcolm Lee

Okay … I’m going out on a limb here and assuming someone care about this news. Look, SCARY MOVIE 1 & 2 were pretty damn funny. I loved the Wayans Brother’s perspective on the horror genre. But now here I am announcing who the director to part 5 is gonna be. Malcolm Lee, who directed UNDERCOVER BROTHER, will be sitting in the director’s chair for the fifth installment. Does anyone really care? No. Okay; I’ll stop writing then.

Stay Bloody!!!