The Asylum Answers Battleship with their American Battleship … and Guess Who has the Better Cast??

!!!2

We all know and love The Asylum for cranking out cheap mockbusters of big Hollywood films. The day after Jonathan Liebesman’s BATTLE LOS ANGELES came out, The Asylum put out BATTLE OF LOS ANGELES. A full three days before SNAKES ON A PLANE came out, Asylum churned out SNAKES ON A TRAIN. The list goes on and on. We’ve come to accept this, and in some cases look forward to their mockbusters (in a masochistic way). But now Asylum has jumped on a new, upcoming big budget release, BATTLESHIP. That’s right; the film that’s already getting laughed at for being based on a fucking board game is now getting The Asylum Treatment. The mockbuster is AMERICAN BATTLESHIP and it’s slated to be released on DVD/VOD on March 15 … two days before the release of BATTLESHIP. Take that Hollywood!!

But wait … it gets better. Joining the cast is none other Mario Van Peebles and Carl Weathers. Hell yeah!! Peebles has been a android soldier (SOLO), an immortal warrior (HIGHLANDER: THE FINAL DIMENSION), and a werewolf (FULL ECLIPSE). Weathers has, of course fought (and lost to) PREDATOR, battled a giant turtle (THE BERMUDA DEPTHS), and in his most dangerous role, had to pretend Adam Sandler was funny (HAPPY GILMORE). Do these two silver screen veterans have what it takes to battle and save earth from an onslaught of shitty CGI spaceships and aliens? Here’s the plot crunch:

When a fleet of mysterious ships wage war against the Earth, only the crew of the USS Iowa, the last American battleship, can prevent global armageddon.

Rounding out the cast is JoHanna Watts and AMERICAN BATTLESHIP is being written and directed by Thunder Levin, the mastermind behind MUTANT VAMPIRE ZOMBIES FROM THE HOOD!! Oh boy this one has “train wreck” written all over it, but my masochistic side is rearing it’s ugly head and I can’t wait to check this one out. Admit it; you’re a little curious too!

Stay Bloody!!!

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4 Responses to “The Asylum Answers Battleship with their American Battleship … and Guess Who has the Better Cast??”
  1. Canl an Asylum flick be a train wreck? If it were the $250 million movie ($250 million? That is an obscene amount of money to spend on a movie. That is literally obscene. In the 70s, following the success of EASY RIDER, a studio executive had the idea of throwing $5 million to 5 talents to make 5 independent movies, with the idea that at least one of them will be successful enough to make a profit. Studios should consider this approach, especially in light of how easy it would be to distribute movies via Netflix and other sources rather than via theatres).
    Where was I? Oh yeah. I think Asylum can’t make a train wreck, ‘coz they’re already running on their rims. In a perverse way, they can only get better…

    Who am I kidding? It’ll be shit :-)

    • Well put Deggsy!! The smartest thing Asylum does is to put together good, solid casts in their films. And who am I kidding … I’m totally gonna watch AMERICAN BATTLESHIP!!

      I need help.

  2. RSABrett says:

    It’ll be as awsome as Mega Pirhanna!!! hahahahahaha, just need a couple of beers and good scotch first.

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  • Some of my favorite horror movies:
  • Dawn of the Dead (1978)

  • Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn (1987)

  • Martyrs (2008)

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